daddy's little girl
by The Immortal Hope
Summary: have you ever wondered what it would be like if your mother was dead and your father evil, welcome to my life i am angelica snow.  what would it be like to be president snow's daughter, read to find out... please R
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if your mother was dead? What if your father was evil, and I don't mean like he forgets your birthday, or cheats when you play him at checkers. I mean evil, the kind of man who kills 23 children every year for no reason. Now, I want you to imagine the most horrible, blood-thirsty,and murderous country in the world, the type of place where they make children kill each other for the entertainment of the capitol city, and your evil father is the leader. Well, welcome to my life. I am Angelica Snow.

I wake up to the sound of my maid knocking on the door and telling me it's time to get ready for school. This is ridiculous of course, because I don't even go to a real school; that's too dangerous for fact, most of the country doesn't even know I exist, and that's the way my father likes never lets me leave the house, I don't have any friends, and the closest to the real world I've ever been is my balcony. This is because everything is too dangerous for the president's daughter.

I gently pull a comb through my long blonde hair, then let it fall down my back and put on my "school uniform," which is another unnecessary thing since I have a private tutor, but my father insists I treat it like a real school, when the truth is it's not. I don't even learn what I would at a real school; I learn how to rule the country. I learn about the Hunger Games, because as I am an only child, I will one day run this country, and I am being taught to be a "good" ruler, which he thinks is exactly like how he rules. I would never tell anyone this, but when I'm president things will will be better and the Hunger Games will end.

Thoughts like these could get me killed, which is why I never voice them, though I wish I could, wish I had someone I could trust with this, someone to vent to.

"Angelica" I am ripped from my dreams of a peaceful Panem by the harsh voice of my teacher.

"Oh, sorry Bradley, what were you asking?" I say, smiling.

"I wish you would pay attention," he says sighing.

"Sorry, um, the answer is 238," I say.

"How do you completely block out the whole lesson, and then still do it perfectly?" he asks, sounding frustrated.

"I don't know, my dad probably did surgery on my brain to make me smart," I say only half joking.

"Okay, why don't we just take a little quiz, then you can go for lunch," he says, handing me a double sided sheet of paper. I love quizzes. I know this sounds weird but quizzes mean peace to me. I don't have to listen to a boring lesson, I can just give the answers in complete silence, and this quiz is particularly easy.

"Done, may I go now?" I ask, looking up from the paper.

"Okay, you can go. I'll give this back after lunch," he says, and I head to the dining hall. I sit in one of the overly fluffed bright red plush chairs, and ring the little bell, telling the kitchen that I'm ready for lunch. An Avox walks in with a silver jewel incrusted platter that holds my lunch. He sets it down on the table and starts to walk out.

"Thank you," I say as he retreats. Then he's gone and I'm left alone to eat my lunch. Of course I'm not really alone; I have cameras watching me 24/7 so my dad can keep an eye on me between torturing the districts and planning the hunger games.

I finish eating and head back to the "classroom." I am seated just as Bradley walks in.

"Oh, hello Angelica, you're early," he notes.

"Yeah, I finished eating early," I tell him.

"Well, here's your quiz back," he says, handing me the paper. I unfold it, revealing the bright red A+ in the right hand corner. "Surprise, surprise," he says, grinning. "You know it's hard teaching someone who already knows everything."

"What can I say, it's a gift" I say, smiling cockily.

" Well, now we're going to learn about the laws of Panem," he says, smiling since he knows I hate this particular subject.

Once I'm done with school for the day, I return to my chambers and sit on the balcony. I pull out my easel and begin to paint the candy coloured Capitol. Once I've almost finished my painting, I am pulled from my own world by a knock on the door

"Who is it?" I call.

"Isabelle," she replies. Isabelle is my maid.

"Come in," I tell her and before I know it she's right over my shoulder.

"That's beautiful," she says looking at my painting.

"Thank you," I say curtly,

"Your father would like to have you present at dinner," she tells me, to my surprise.

"Really, I made the list, wow," I say sarcastically.

"Your father is a very busy man," she says.

"Yup, that's my daddy," I say bitterly, cutting off her response by walking into the bathroom.

I wash my face, apply fresh make-up, and brush my hair before exiting the bathroom. I walk into my giant closet and pull on pair of exercise pants and a pink cotton tank top, because it's comfortable. I'm just about to exit when Isabelle's voice stops me.

"Angelica, please, this is a formal event," she says meekly.

"Formal event? I'm going to eat supper with my know, in some families, girls do that every day," I say bitterly.

"Yes, well, remember who your father is," she says.

"A jerk who I never see," I say in answer.

"Please,Angelica, just change and have a nice dinner," she begs and so for her, not my father, I go change into a pleated skirt and white blouse.

"Closer," she says, looking me over. I go through 2 more outfits before one is deemed appropriate; a floor length pink dress that sparkles and hugs my body, with a necklace made of rare pink diamonds and shoes to match.

"There, perfect," she says, smiling, and I walk out the door.

I think it is absolutely ridiculous that I'm wearing a floor length gown to have dinner with my father, but oh well. I'll just try to get through the next hour without openly showing my hate for him. I sit down at one end of the table and wait for him to show up. The door opens, and the room fills with the scent of blood and roses.


	2. Chapter 2: an old tutor

**i'm baack and I just want to thank you for reading my dtory you're all so gucci! :P lol i just wanted to say for anyone who either said or thought that snow could not have a child... well in mockingjay coin said he had a grand daughter... so he must have a daughter right? well just thought i'd clear that up! here's chapter 2!**

CHAPTER 2

"Angelica, you've grown," he comments.

"Yeah, I guess you miss a lot when you're never home," I tell him.

"Yes, well, I'm very busy," he says, defending himself. I don't respond. He sits down at the other end of the table.

"How are your studies?" he asks, pretending he cares.

"Good," I reply curtly.

"Are you still painting?" he asks.

"Yes," I say.

"You must show some to me," he says.

"Why?" I ask.

"Well, because I want to see what you've been doing," he says.

"Oh, you mean while you've had me locked away in my room because you're ashamed of me?" I ask, using my fake smile.

"I keep you here because there are a lot of people who would love to kill me, and in relation, you," he growls at me.

"Yeah, and for good reason," I mutter under my breath, and he is about to respond when our dinner arrives. He must really be trying to impress me; he had my favourite made, and I think that maybe he actually did pay attention to my life, until he says: "This is your favorite, I don't get it." No, he doesn't pay attention. He just calls for the servants. I hate him, this man that I call my If someone put a bullet in his I wouldn't really be that sad. I know that sounds harsh, but I still remember what made me hate him so much in the first place.

_When I was 8 years old, I had a different tutor who had grown up in District 12, and he taught me all about the uprising and the hunger games. He taught me of the starvation, the destruction of District 13, and just the menace that we call the Capitol. I loved him; he was like a father to me. He made me see what the Capitol really was, and then when my father heard what he was teaching me, he murdered my tutor, had him executed for treason. I still remember watching him hanging off of that tree, which was poetic justice for my father, seeing as how me singing "The Hanging Tree" was what made him suspicious of Zachary in the first place. That was when I realized my father was a monster, a complete monster, and I realized that I wanted to be different. I wanted to help people, I wanted to end the torture, and when I did it would be vengeance for the cold blooded murder of my tutor._

I eat my delicious dinner very quickly. "May I leave now?" I ask, trying to take the venom out of my voice.

"Oh, I was hoping to talk to you a while longer," he says grinning in that menacing way he has, and though the last thing I want to do is talk to dear old dad I know I have to stay, not because I owe him anything, but because he probably has guards outside.

"Fine, what do you want?" I ask bitterly.

"Well, as you know, it's almost time for the 74th annual hunger games, and I was so hoping that this year you would accompany me, so you can learn how to control the arena for when you take over as president," he says, trying to smile, though I don't think he's capable of that.

"I don't want to," I reply.

"You must learn," he says angrily.

"No, I don't want to," I say, determined not to go.

"Well, let me know if you change your mind," he says maniacally, really meaning "I will drag you handcuffed and gagged to that arena if I have to."

"Don't worry, I won't," I say, standing up from my chair and storming out,only to be stopped at the door by two large peacekeepers, who firmly grasp my arms. I turn to look at my father.

"No, let her go. I feel certain we will be in touch again soon," he says, grinning menacingly. "Don't you agree, Angelica?" he asks politely.

"Yes, father," I reply venomously. He just flashes me that evil grin he has. Once I enter my bedroom I go straight into the bathroom. I strip off my clothes, set the taps, and let the warm, soapy water run over my skin. I stand in the shower for a good hour trying to figure out how I am going to get out of going to the arena, but there really is nothing. All I can do is grit my teeth and try not to watch.

I walk back into my bedroom, illuminated only by the luminescent moonlight shining from the windowI crawl into my bed and pull the soft down blankets over my head, attempting to sleep. I am caught in a hazy trance of dreams and reality, not fully awake but not sleeping.

_Thunk, thunk._

I hear the quick rap of knuckles on wood.

"Who is it?" I whisper, wondering who would be at my door at 12:30 in the morning.

"It's Ben," he whispers through the wood.

I get up and get to the door as quickly as possible. I unlock it and swing it open to reveal Ben standing there, looking radiant as ever in the pale glowing moonlight, his curly blond hair and ocean blue eyes aglow.

"Hi," he says, and I feel as though I've begun melting straight into the floor. Ben is one of my body guards and my best friend, and I've liked him ever since I could remember. If my father knew, I can only guess what he would do to Ben; even us being friends agitates him. I think he wishes I would just study and watch the hunger games all day, but if I knew that he wouldn't hurt Ben I would totally tell him, just to piss him off.

"Hey, Ben," I reply casually.

"So, how did dinner go?" he asks, entering the room and closing the door behind him.

"Oh, that," I say, going to sit on the bed.

"Uh oh, c'mon, tell me what happened," he says, peering into my soul with those huge beautiful eyes"Well, it wasn't SO bad in the beginning, but then he asked me to go with him to the arena this year," I say.

"Oh, no," he groans, knowing I must have done something stupid.

"So I told him that I wasn't going, and he said that if I "changed my mind" to let him know," I say grumpily.

"Meaning you're going no matter what," he guesses, spot on. "Exactly," I say. He falls on the bed, defeated

"I don't wanna go, Ben," I say sadly.

"I know you don't, I know." He comforts me.

"Will you come with me?" I practically beg.

"I don't know if I'm allowed," he says.

"If you say that you'll come with me I'll get you in," I promise.

"Of course I'll come with you," he says. He stands up and begins to walk towards the door. "I'm sorry Angelica, but if I'm not back on duty outside your room, your father will have my head on a silver platter," he says.

"I know, thank you for everything," I say before reluctantly allowing him to leave. I watch as he leaves my bedroom, as gracefully as a swan and as quietly as a cat.

"Good night," I whisper to the closed door, and barely hear his faint reply.

I get back in bed and fall asleep immediately.

When I wake up and turn to the clock, I panic that I've slept too long, before realizing it's a Saturday. I swing my legs out of my bed, and go through all the normal morning actions. I dress in a pink and white tank dress that falls to just above my knees, brush my hair and let it fall down to my waist, apply light make up, and make my way to my father's office. I rap my knuckles on the door. It opens and the first round of security meets me.

"Name?" asks his assistant, without looking up from her desk.

"Um, Angelica Snow" I say. She looks up, surprised.

"Oh, hello Angelica," she says politely.

"Could I see my father?" I ask, giving ask with a sweet smile

"Just a minute, I'll buzz him," she says, pushing the button for my father's office.

"WHAT?" barks his voice.

"Um, there's someone hear to see you, sir," she says.

"Well, unless it's Seneca Crane, get rid of them," he says harshly.

"Um, well see the thing is-" she begins.

"Dad, I need to talk to you." I cut in.

"Oh, Angelica. Send her in and skip all further security," he orders his assistant.

"Yes sir, right away sir," she says, sending me in. I enter his office. His face crinkles and cracks like plastic when he attempts a smile.

"Ah, Angelica, what brings you to my office?" he asks.

"Well, I've decided that I will come with you this year," I say quietly, looking at the floor.

"Oh, wonderful!" he exclaims.

"On one condition," I clarify.

"Oh, I can't wait to hear know I don't have to agree to anything, right?" he says, staring at me in an attempt to intimidate me, but I stand my ground against the seed of all-evil

"Geez, relax, all I want is to choose my guard staff," I request.

"No," he says sternly, staring at me.

"Why?" I ask, trying to sound stern but coming off as more whiney

"This could be dangerous, and I'm not taking chances on a sub-par security team," he says.

"Fine, then how about just a few?" I beg, and he looks on me happy, probably that he can cause such pain in a person, even his own daughter

"One, you may choose one," he says viciously.

"If they can be my head, then deal," I say,

"Room security," he fires back. "Deal," I say victoriously. Since it didn't really matter how many or where my choiceds were so long as I got Ben

"Fine, give me the name by the end of the day," he says, dismissing me.

I walk out feeling accomplished._ After all, I got Ben, so how bad can the trip be?_ I think optimistically. When I return to my room I find him standing outside my door.

"Benjamin, would you please come help me move some furniture in my quarters?" I ask, knowing my father has cameras in the hall

"Of course," he replies. We walk in together. I shut the door and then jump on the bed.

"Guess who's coming to the arena with me?" I ask him coyly.

"Let me think…no, don't tell me;Finnick Odair!" he exclaims.

"No, well actually yes, but not WITH me per-say," I answer, teasing him back.

"So you talked your father into it," he says.

"Well, he said I could pick one guard, yeah, don't really know who I'm taking yet," I say casually, and then smile.

"Oh, okay," he says, faking rejection.

"But I do have to pretend I'm making a decision," I say.

"Okay, so what's your plan?" he asks.

"I'm going to have all my guards assemble do some drills, make sure it gets back to my father and then obviously pick you," I say, grinning.

"Good plan. Well, I'm going out there so it doesn't look suspicious," he says, then walks out.

I organize this "competition," and have Isabelle assure this gets back to my dictator- I mean father. These guards do everything from carry a dummy out a window, to an obstacle course and (wouldn't you know it) Ben wins! Wow, shocker. I pick up the intercom and dial 666 for the President's office.

"What?" he barks at me.

"I've made my decision," I tell him.

"Oh, yes, who was the victor of your little competition?" he asks.

"Benjamin Walker," I state.

"Ah.A rather young boy, isn't he?" he asks.

"Um, not really. He's 15, just like me," I respond.

"Yes. Don't think I didn't notice," he growls before hanging up.

"Love you too,_Dad_," I mutter to the dial tone. In fact, I would love nothing more than to put him in the hunger games.

**hope you enjoyed it and seriously every time i get a review i automatically start working on the next chapter so the key to making me write faster...REVIEW! yay**


	3. Chapter 3: the one who cared

**thank you to all my faithfull readers and reviewers! I love you all, and don't have a whole lot to say so enjoy chapter 3**

CHAPTER 3

By 10:00 the next morning I'm on the presidential hovercraft, seated and ready to take off. The little red button telling us to put our seatbelts on flashes, and we're in the air. Some attendants come by to offer me an array of food and beverages. I accept a small glass of iced tea, and then take in my surroundings.

There are 5 sections in this particular hovercraft, one bedroom for me, one for my father, one for the staff, and then a kitchen. My bedroom has a large bed;a bathroom, complete with shower;and a closet and a dresser both full of clothes, not to mention the clothes my stylist will have made for me upon hearing that I was attending this year.

The trip from our mansion to the training centre really only takes a few hours, so there's no need for all this, but I'll bring the clothes with me, and this is just my father's favorite. I sit on the bed and pick up one of my sketchpads and a pencil. I zone out, paying no attention to my drawing until I look down and see it, the face I haven't seen in so long, the face I would give anything to see again; a perfect drawing of my mother.

I loved my mom more than anything, and apparently so did my father, but I don't think he's capable of love. She died when I was 9 years old. She was at the Justice Building looking over some papers, just like every other Saturday afternoon; she always loved this one spot up on the balcony of level 11, where her favorite flowers, primroses, grew. She was taking a break, watering the delicate heart shaped plants, when a window cleaner on the 13th level fell. My mother reached out to help him, but she fell over with him; my mother who was only trying to help a man on his way to death was killed herself. It just doesn't seem fair- why should she die when those who murder so many live? She deserved life, she deserved happiness,,and my father didn't deserve her. She should have had so much better.

That's why my father hates me, I was never his baby. My mother was the one who wanted children, he never did, and then when she died he was stuck with a 9 year old girl he had neither the time nor will to care for. I hate him, he's horrible,and he let me be raised by complete strangers. Some people say it's sad. If I ever had loved him, he would just disappoint me or use me,Then I just curl up in a ball on my bed and cry, about everything. What do I have to be happy for? My mother is dead and my father doesn't care about or want me. No matter how evil, horrible, uncaring, cold, or just heartless he is, don't we all want our fathers to at least care for us, to love us? I just wish I could say I was the only thing he loved, but I can't; he just doesn't care. You might wonder why I want a man I hate to love me, but I have nothing in the world. The only thing I have is hope, which is slowly growing farther and farther away from me.

I sit curled up in the fetal position until I hear my door crack open, then someone is rushing to my side.

"Angelica," his voice calls to me, trying with all his might to break me out of the hazy world of self-pity I've entered. "Angelica, please talk to 's wrong Angelica?" he begs but I just can't find the strength. "Please, Angelica, please." He's almost crying too at this point, and I think maybe he is enough.

"Ben," I whisper, coming out of it.

"Angelica," he says, his face flooding with relief. "What happened, why were you-" He doesn't continue.

"I was just thinking," I say lamely.

"Thinking? You were totally out of it. I wasn't sure what was wrong. You nearly gave me a heart attack," he breaths.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It's just that sometimes I have these weird episodes, it's like a nightmare but I'm awake," I confide to him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asks gently.

"Yes, I'm fine now, thanks to you," I say. "No one's ever cared enough to break me out of it before," I admit.

"What? You mean they just let you go through that?" he says asks, still trying to be gentle, but I hear the anger in his voice.

"Well, yeah," I say, confused why would anyone do different.

"That's horrible," he says, sitting on the bed with me.

"Why?" I ask quietly.

"Because nobody's helped you, nobody's ever asked what caused these nightmares, or tried to end them," he says, looking at me his bright blue eyes "I always assumed there was nothing that could be done," I say, feeling foolish.

"I'm sure there is, and I'm going to find out how," He says determinedly.

"Thank you," I choke out. He just smiles at me, a smile so radiant it lights up the world, or at least the room.

"Alright, let's begin," he says authoritatively.

"Begin what?" I ask.

"Your therapy, of course," he says, grinning at me.

"What?" I ask, giggling.

"No, I'm serious. Okay, what were you thinking of right before it happened?" he asks.

"Um…my mother," I say. I hold up my sketchpad.

"Wow that's…. amazing," he says, sounding truly impressed.

"Thanks," I say, blushing.

"So, would you tell me what happened to your mother?" he asks.

"Okay," I say and proceed to tell him of my mother's death. I tell him everything- including the stuff about my father.

"I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know," he says and I can tell he feels bad.

"No, Ben, it's okay, really. It actually feels good to have someone to talk to," I say. I flash a genuine smile at him.

"Anytime, Angelica. Whenever you need an ear, well I've got two right here," he says as he points to his ears

"Good to know," I say. Just then, the intercom comes on.

"Attention passengers, we are about to begin landing. we ask that you all take your seats and buckle your you," says the automated voice. We quickly run to the two seats placed on the edge of the room and buckle up our seat belts. The ride down is bumpy, but short.

I step out of the plane with my security team completely covering me, so I can't even see. We enter the training centre where we will live until the games are over. Since the tributes live on levels 1 through 12, the staff will be on level 14, the game makers and mentors will live in the suites connected to the control rooms, and my father will be on level 15 in the presidential suite, meaning I'm staying in the suites that were originally made for district 13 tributes, until they were destroyed, of course.

I enter the elevator and push the number 13, and then I shoot up,. I walk into the first room I see, and encounter the last face I want to see in the world….. Well, okay, second-to-last. Seneca Crane, head game maker, second only to my father.

"Oh,Angelica, I was just looking for you. Your father asked me to tell you that your room is the third one on the right" he says, smiling pleasantly. I try to smile back, but when standing in front of a man who has killed so many kids my age, it's nearly impossible to feel comfortable.

"Oh, I thought all the rooms were the same," I say, confused.

"I don't know, but that's the room your father wants you in," he tells me, so I exit the room.

I go down the hallway and find the correct door. It would be hard to miss, since there's a giant gold plate that reads "ANGELICA SNOW" on it. I enter the room and meet the eyes of the absolutely last person I want to see.

"Angelica, I was just having some things changed in your room, so it's not so much like a tribute suite," Father says.

"Why? I very well could be one," I say calling him for what he is. His eyebrows knit together furiously.

"Angelica, you have to get it, honestly you're nothing like those people," he says with disgust "They deserve everything they get and more," he growls.

I just stare at him because if I told him what I was really thinking, well I don't want to know what would happen, but I would never become president and I couldn't help anyone. "I know, I live here so I'm safe," I say solemnly, exactly how I've been taught all my life.

"Exactly," he says. He doesn't understand what I really meant, but oh well. He doesn't understand much of anything.

Once he's gone I have all my stuff brought into this room. I've never seen a tribute suite so I don't know exactly how much he changed it, but I hope he at least took down the force fields on the windows and disabled the cameras, but I'd better have someone check. I go push the one button I know is only in this room; the servant's button.

"How can we help you?" asks an anonymous female voice.

"Hi, could you please send your best technology man to my room?" I request.

"Who's asking?" she says rudely, and I know to get what I need I'll have to play the president's daughter bit, which I hate doing.

"Angelica Snow," I tell her slowly.

"Oh, yes, right away Miss Snow," she says and before I can blink there's a knock on my door. I swing open the door to reveal a man in a beige uniform.

"Hello, I would like you to check this room for cameras, check every square inch." I instruct him.

"Yes, ma'am," he says respectfully, and then I head down the hallway to the dining room.

I sit at the table and eat my delicious diner; I'm finished before my father even enters the room, which I'm glad for. I head back into my room to see if my father felt the need to keep tabs on me.

"Find anything?" I ask.

"No,it's clean," he responds.

"You're 100% certain?" I ask again.

"Yes, ma'am, I assure you. It's clean," he tells me.

"Okay, thank you," I say, happy that there are no cameras.

I turn on my TV and watch the reapings.

District 1 has two natural careers:Marvel and Glimmer, who must be the most beautiful girl in the world

District 2's Cato and Clove are a brutal looking pair: fierce, huge and deadly.

The poor kids from District 3,Riling and Pulse, are tiny and honestly stand no chance.

District 4 provides Dally and Shimal; more careers. They're huge killing machines, though not as much as District 2.

From District 5, Maya and Zane. The girl looks sly and intelligent, the boy is nothing special, but maybe he'll surprise me.

District 6 has Laina and Victor. Their names are weird but they look like they might be able to fight.

District 7 introduces us to Stephany and Stephan._Wow, that was quite a coincidence_ I think, until I realize they're twins and the boy only volunteered to protect her. Now they'll both probably die, though the boy is large, maybe he can protect her, at least for a little bit.

District 8 presents Pricilla and Alistair, who have almost no hope of winning. It's a sad fact but it's true.

District 9's escort pulls the papers of two kids named Belle and Braxton. _Wow, a lot of these names work together this year, that's weird! Wait, why am I thinking about this?These kids will be dead in a month, tops._ I shake my head.

District 10 gives us Clementine and Brenden. The boy, Brenden, has a crippled foot. _That should be against the rules! This is a physical competition, that kid is practically dead! That is so unfair, they should re-pick. _

District 11 gives up Thresh and Rue. Thresh is a giant, and I think that he will undoubtedly win. He's as big as the boy from 2 _and_ he knows how to survive. Rue is the exact opposite;she's 12 years old but looks about 8. I've always thought the minimum age should be 16, at least it would be a little fairer.

Finally, District 12's tributes are named Peeta and Katniss. Katniss volunteered to save her 12 year old sister, Primrose, though honestly she's not that much larger than her sister. It was still a sweet moment, and I will be sorry to see her die. The boy, however, looks sturdily built and seems like a fighter, though nothing compared to District 11. I don't believe how many children I will watch die this year.

**so what do you think! please please please tell me I really want to know I don't care if you just say 2 words every review makes me write more, proven fact whenever I get one I open the story and start writing, so c'mon push the button it's calling you! :D**


	4. Chapter 4: strand by strand

**I"m baaaaack did you miss me? well I finnaly finished chapter 4, sorry it took so long but I have to maintain a 90 average, and do 5 hours of dance every night, so if I take a while in the future I haven't forgotten just busy :) luv u's **

CHAPTER 4

Somehow, the amount of tributes dying isn't even the sickest part. It's the fact that it's children; a 12 year old girl and a cripple among horrible is that? Well, now the reapings are over, and by tomorrow morning the tributes will be knows, I may even run into one of them, but what would I say? "Oh, hi, I'm the daughter of the man who's sending you to your death." I mean, seriously. Maybe I won't even have to see them.

I decide to turn in early since it's been a long day, when I realize that I haven't seen Ben since we got off the hovercraft. Then I remember he's one of my room security, so he'll be outside of my room all night, so right now he's probably eating a late supper. I decide to take a shower and get ready for bed. Then, when he shows up I'll say I'm afraid and I can bring him into my room.

I stand in the shower way longer than normal and just let the water wash away all the stress of the day. I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my slim body, allowing the machine to dry and untangle my hair.. I pull on my nightdress and go to see if he's out there yet. I open the door and see three large guys, none looking anything like Ben.

"Um, do you know when the next shift of body guards is due?" I ask the closest one.

"In about 25 minutes," he says, and I go crawl under the covers.

"AHHHHHHHH" I pretend to be waking from a nightmare, so it's not as obvious when Ben comes in. He trips over his own feet and ends up on the floor.

"Smooth," I comment, giggling at him.

"Oh, says the girl who broke her arm tripping over a 2 foot tall dog, he shoots back.

"Hey, that was a long time ago!" I try to defend myself, but end up sounding more whiny than ever.

"Oh, okay princess," he says, grinning. I attempt to scowl at him, but I'm not really much of a scowler. "So, what were you dreaming about?" he asks.

"Nothing," I reply casually.

"Right, that's why you were screaming like a banshee," he says.

"Oh, please. I was faking to get you in here," I tell him.

"Oh, okay," he says mischievously.

"Alright, don't get cocky with me, hotshot!"I wink at him. I love joking around with him, he's so fun to bug. We start laughing like crazy.

"Well, I'm here now. What did you think of the reapings?" he asks, changing the subject yet again.

"How are any reapings?" I ask him back.

"True," he says.

"I just can't believe that they would send a crippled boy in to fight for his life," I say sadly.

"Is it really any worse than the rest?" he asks.

"I guess not," I say cautiously, because really I was hiding behind this as an excuse. Every year, I pick a tribute that is particularly weak and say how sick it is to make them compete, but really it's horrid no matter how you spin it.

"Let's talk about something else," I beg him.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" he asks politely.

"Since when do you do what I want?" I tease lightly.

"I guess being here's changed me," he says, widening his eyes to look horrified.

"Yeah, I know you're…likeable," I say jokingly, and he laughs.

"Oh, okay princess." I know I should be offended, but nothing he says could ever be mean.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, sensing that I'm uncomfortable.

"Nothing, I was just thinking that if anyone else called me "princess" I'd probably punch them," I say, giggling.

"Well, I get special privileges," he says cockily.

"Yeah, you do," I admit.

"Why?" he asks me sincerely.

"Because you're my friend," I say simply.

"Well, I know that, but does it really bug you?" he asks, eyes piercing my heart, seeking his answer.

"No, Ben, really. Nothing about you bugs me, ever," I assure him.

"Thanks, that means a lot It's the same way for me, you know that, right?" he says , I wish he knew how I felt, I wish I could tell him, but it would be dangerous for idiotic father has his eyes set on some politician for me, to help me run the country, and if I tell Ben that I like him, something tells me he'd end up in an "accident" and I can't risk that.

So I just blush a deep crimson and stutter a response. "Th-thanks," is all I can manage. I start squirming, though I don't know why, and my palms get all sweaty.

"Hey, you sure you're okay?" he asks.

"Huh, oh, ya, fine, I'm fine," I say unpersuasively.

"Alright," he says slowly, unconvinced. I look to the clock not realizing how late it is.

"Yeah, I should probably g-"

"NO!" I say a little louder, and honestly more desperately, than I intended. "I, mean, uh, there's two beds, right?" I say weakly.

"Yeah, I'll stay if you want me to," he says, sounding hopeful.

"Yes, I want you to," I say and we go to sleep.

I wake up to find his bed empty and realize he probably already went down for breakfast, and just didn't want to wake me. I also make my way down for breakfast, and sure enough, there he is. I take a plate and sit down beside 's just us, alone, until the intercom comes on.

"Angelica," says a pleasant voice.

"Yes," I reply, but through a mouthful of pancake, it sounds more like "Yash."

"Your father had to leave to get ready for the opening ceremonies, and has arranged for a car to pick you up at three," she informs me.

"Okay," I reply.

"Right after breakfast, go to level 2 to meet your new stylist," she instructs.

"Okay, will do," I say, wishing I could skip getting waxed and exfoliated until raw.

I say a quick goodbye to Ben before entering the elevator and pressing the number 2. I step onto the second floor and slam directly into a brick wall.

"Ow," I mutter, clutching my head.

"Who do you think you are?" demands a malicious voice. I look up to see that I've actually bumped into the giant tribute from 2, and not a brick wall.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't see you," I amend.

"You're sorry!" he grumbles. "No one makes an idiot out of me! I can't wait to kill you," he says nastily. What? How could he kill me?

"What? You couldn't kill me," I say to him, confused.

"Obviously you hit your head too hard. How old could you be anyway, 14?You've probably never held a knife in your life, I was made for this!" he shouts at me savagely. If I were a tribute, I would be… wait, he thinks _I'm_ a tribute. This could be fun!

Now, normally I wouldn't do this, but this boy is horrible. "I know, but I can promise you 100% that you will not be killing me," I say, smiling.

"Well, now, I _promise_ I will find you and kill you," he growls murderously.

"Um, no, you won't. In fact, I can guarantee you that I will not die in the arena of the 74th hunger games," I say as I continue to smile at him.

"How the hell are you so sure of yourself? Look at you, you won't last a frickin' day," he snarls

"Yeah, love to stay and chat, but I gotta get to my stylist," I say with a giggle.

"Oh, I get it. You're retarded." He smirks. "Because obviously your stylist isn't on this floor," he says, looking down at me.

"Yes, she definitely is," I reply, still elated that he hasn't figured it out yet.

"Let- me -help- you," he says slowly. "What- is your- name?" he asks, still speaking to me as though I'm slow. I just smile and laugh.

"Oh, my name," I begin casually, then slit my eyes like a cat and continue. "Angelica Snow," I say slowly, and watch his eyes grow to the size of saucers.

"You mean li-like pr- pre- president-,"

"Snow?Yeah, that's Daddy," I reply, just looks terrified. "Oh, so I'm not the slow one?" I say with one last smug grin before turning the corner and entering the room that holds my prep team.

"Oh,Angelica, aren't you excited about this year's games!" shrieks Havien, while he is ripping the hair off of my legs.

"Well, this is the first time I'll be watching up close," I say generically, since I'm not very good at lying. Once all the hair is off my body, and my skin is raw, Evelian comes in holding a knee length dress that I will be wearing to the opening ceremonies and for the interviews with the mentors.

"Hello, Angelica! My, you've grown," she remarks, looking shocked. I've known Evelian my whole life, so she notices everything about me. I just smile.

"I hope my dress will fit." I giggle.

"Oh, I'm sure it will," she says, letting the fabric fall from her I see that it has a black top, ending in an empire waistline, and then a silky white fabric, with pink and black patterns all down to the knees where it ends.

"It's beautiful, as usual," I compliment her.

"Oh don't forget the shoes," she says as she is bringing out a pair of light pink ballet flats that I slip onto my feet.

"There" she says, fastening a rare pink diamond on a silver chain, around my neck. "Now you're perfect!"

"Thank you," I say.

"You're welcome, but your limo will be here in 15 minutes, so you'd better get going," she tells me.

"Okay, thanks again," I say, running out the door and into the elevator.

I step out into the warm summer breeze that I never get to feel, being so cooped up all my life, and make my way to the long black car awaiting me. The attendant opens up the door and I slide in. Almost immediately, a screen comes on with my father's assistant.

"Angelica, you will be meeting your father at the President's box upon arrival," she tells me.

"Perfect," I say sarcastically. Then the screen goes black, and the rest of the ride is smooth.

I exit the car and all eyes are on me, or rather my army of 5000. Honestly, you'd think I could walk without worrying about stepping on my body guards'heels. I walk across the pebbles to the mansion my father usually lives in to control the country. See, this is what I even keeps me in a separate house, but never lets me out. Not even to ride Whisper, my beautiful, white thoroughbred.

I walk up, press the buzzer, and the automated voice asks for my name and ID; then I'm in the house and making my way up the grand staircase to the balcony overlooking the heart and soul of all evil, or as some people call it the Capitol.

"Angelica, you're just in time," says my father, his overly puffy lips pulling up in a fake smile. "Don't you look pretty," he says,

"Thank you," I reply curtly, knowing he's not genuine. I mean, he's a politician, everyone knows they're liars. We both take our seats at the front of the balcony and wait for the chariots to begin rolling. Once they do, I am awestruck. I see the costumes on TV, but in person it is so very different; the colors are more vibrant, the jewels more beautiful, the fire more bright. Wait, what fire? No, it's true! District 12 is on are radiant, the boy strong and handsome, and I thought my eyes were blue, but his pop out even more than the fire does. The girl is beautiful, ivory skin with amazing grey eyes, and hair as long as mine, only jet black, and back in a simple braid.

Sure,District 1's jewels are exquisite, District 3's wires complicated, District 7's trees expected, District 5's girl beautiful, District 11's boy a giant, and their girl adorable, but none compare to the sheer beauty and genius that is the District 12 tributes.

I am still staring as my father finishes his speech, and need to be told to stand when the anthem begins. I've never seen such beautiful tributes, but what does it matter? In a few weeks, they'll all be dead, every last one of them, because even the victor dies inside every time they plunge a sword, shoot an arrow, or just hold the hand of a dying ally. We watch with glee as we destroy the lives of not only 24 people but 12 entire districts, as we tear these children's hopes and dreams, one strand at a time.

**well there you have it, hope you enjoyed, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease pleeeeeeeeeease review I promise I'll e mail you back with a big plate of cyber cookies, yum, o c'mon you know you want them! (::) (::) (::)**


	5. Chapter 5: jackson!

CHAPTER 5

I stand up and leave the second the doors close behind the tributes. I am walking down the long hallway when I hear the snake-like voice behind me.

"Angelica, that was very rude, storming out like that," hisses my father.

"Rude? Are you really telling me about being rude?" I shout at him. Honestly, getting mad at me for storming out, when he's murdering the country one by one?

"Do not talk to me like that! I will be respected, I have earned the right to be respected," he growls at me.

"Yes, father. You have earned respect from your game makers, your servants, your Capitol, but not me! Not your own daughter," I spit at him angrily, storming a few more feet before being roughly grabbed from behind by two giant guards.

"Let me go! Let me go!" I shout, thrashing in their arms

"Not a chance, princess," one of them whispers in my ear, and I recognize the voice as my father's personal body guard's apprentice, Jackson. He's my age, and using Ben's nickname for me, but I hate it coming from his lips. They turn me so I am facing _it. _

_"_ Now, now,Angelica. No need to get all worked up, just behave properly next time and we don't need to have an issue," He says calmly.

"Or, in other words, do exactly as you say or I'll be grabbed by my arms all the time," I spit, voice dripping with spite.

"Exactly, glad we're clear. Now, would you two please escort my daughter to her quarters?" he requests politely.

"But, sir, she's staying at the justice building," responds Boxen.

"Not anymore. Have her things and body guards brought over here," he orders. "Oh, and Jackson?" he says.

"Yes, sir?" he replies.

"I want you outside her door 24/7, watching her," orders Satan.

"Yes, sir," he says, grinning at me wickedly.

"You are to be her new personal body guard," he orders

"No! I have Ben, he's my body guard!" I argue.

"Not anymore. I will honour my word, he will remain on your team, but I will take no risks. Jackson is your new personal body guard," he says.

"Don't worry, sir, I'll take good care of her," he says, pulling on my arm and ripping the other out of Boxen's powerful grip, making me wince in pain. He just laughs.

"Dad, this isn't fair," I shout.

"True, but I don't care," he responds, and walks away, giving a nonchalant "You know what to do Jackson," over his shoulder. and I'm roughly pulled toward the exit by my arm.

"Ah, let me go." I wince under his powerful grip.

"Sorry, princess. Not gonna happen." He smirks at me.

"And don't call me that," I say, aggravated.

"Hm, why not? What are you gonna do about it?" he asks me Of course there's nothing I can do but fight against him, and so I struggle hitting him and pulling with my free arm, until he finally gets tired of this game. He gives my arm one powerful pull, causing me to fall into his broad chest as his arms wrap around my torso, forcing me to be still. Then he leans down and his breath tickles my ear.

"Stop that, or so help me, I will make you," he warns, tone turning from its usual cockiness to one which makes my blood run cold.

"Oh yeah, what are you gonna do?" I spit, pretending he doesn't scare me. His smug smirk stretches like the Cheshire cat's.

"You really shouldn't have asked me that," he says, spinning me out, only to grab my arms again and twist them harshly behind my back.

"Ah." I wince in pain at his grip.

"Had enough yet, princess?" he coos gently, though his grip is anything but.

"I told you to stop calling me that!" I say, refusing to let him win, but also knowing I'm a weak, helpless little girl, struggling under a great power.

Aw, but it's so much fun," he says whiningly, then just laughs at me as I give in to the pain and almost begin to cry.

"Please," I beg. "You're hurting me".

"Hmm, then I'm doing my job," he says, releasing my arms. I rub my wrists and sniffle in pain. As I begin walking down the hallway, with him right on my heels.

"Geeze, I'm not gonna run away. You don't have to walk on my feet," I say, aggravated.

"I'm sorry, Angelica. I don't mean to be such a jerk, it's just my job, and, well, no one want to be the guy who lost the President's daughter," he says sheepishly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Well, you didn't have to break my arm," I accuse.

"Yes, I did," he says quietly.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Well, didn't you hear your dad? 'You know what to do.' He wasn't talking about walking 10 steps behind you." He laughs. "They were so obviously watching me, right until I got the message that he's in his quarters," he says, sighing.

"Oh," is all I say. "Well, then why do you do it?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" he asks me.

"Shouldn't your job be something you love?" I say.

"Well, yeah, I guess. But it was never really my I was 11,Boxen saw something in me and made me his apprentice, and that was it, fate sealed, destined to be just another piece in their games" he says, deep chocolate brown eyes reflecting his sorrow, and repentance. "You didn't even get a choice," I say sympathetically.

"Of course not, I mean for most people this would have been an honour. President's personal body guard, who wouldn't want that job?" he says sarcastically. "But it' the same for you, right?" he inquires.

"What?" I ask.

"Well, something tells me you don't get to decide whether or not to be President," he says.

"Oh, no, I don't," I say laughing, just as we come to my door.

"Well, I really am sorry that it's me outside this door, when I know you wanted him," he says earnestly. "And for, how I treated you," he adds sadly.

"Well do you think you could do me a favour to make up for it?" I ask.

"Yeah, sure, what do you want?" he asks, spirit lifting.

"Well, when Ben comes back, could you explain what happened and then let him in, please?" I ask.

"Yeah, sure I can," he says, face falling.

"Thank you, Jackson," I say sweetly before entering my room.

Or should I say, my fancy prison. The room is beautiful, with deep reds and purples, a velvet couch and chair it in the centre, and a huge, comfortable bed with a hanging canopy. There is also a giant bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub and tons of art supplies. Of course, a room service/ maid service/ whatever I want button is positioned on the wall next to my bed. However, there is no balcony or terrace; not even a window. I'm truly trapped in this beautiful suite, without being allowed as much as a glance outside.

I wait and wait until finally the door cracks open and a dejected looking Ben walks in.

"Hey, guess you heard, huh?" I ask, looking at my feet.

"Yeah, but we can still see each other, right, you know like at night?" he asks.

"Of course, as long as he keeps his mouth shut," I say, laughing.

"Yep," he says, also grinning. "So, how are you feeling?" he asks sweetly.

"I'm okay," I say, then remember an earlier conversation. "Wait, Ben, can I ask you a question?" I ask.

"Sure," he says, looking a little apprehensive.

"Do you want to be here?" I ask.

"What? Of course I do," he assures me.

"No, not here as in _here_," I say, gesturing to the room. "Here as in this job," I clarify.

"Well, I've never really done anything else. I mean, my dad's the head of security, so it's what I'm used to," he says nonchalantly.

"Yeah, I guess so. You've been here as long as I have," I say.

"Actually longer, I'm older than you, you know," he says, laughing.

"Oh, by, like, 2 months," I argue back.

"I'm still older," he retorts. I just laugh and we drop it.

I sit on the bed, and he comes beside me and puts his arm around me. He's never done that, but I like it. I lean my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. I know he's just trying to comfort me, but I wish it was more. I just wish that he noticed me in the way I notice him. Just then, Jackson bursts through the door. There's a sense of urgency in his actions, but he stops dead when he sees us on the bed.

"I- uh, sorry. Your father's on his way to check on you… so… you," he stutters, still looking like he was punched in the gut.

"Oh, thanks Jackson," I say, and then turn to whisper in Ben's ear. "Come back, later tonight, please," I ask him. He just nods his head and runs out the door. Not a minute too soon, either, as I hear the faint voices of Jackson and my father as he unlocks the door.

When he walks in, I'm sitting on my bed with a sketchpad and pencil, drawing what will be a mockingjay.

"What do you want?" I spit at him, before seeing Jackson behind him.

"Can't a father say goodnight to his daughter?" he questions innocently, because he is a true politician, a liar.

"A father, yes, but you, no," I say without looking up from my page; his eyes flash with rage

"I just wanted to let you know that training begins at 10 sharp," he says.

"No, you didn't. You came in here to make sure I was miserable enough, and that I had no way out of this room. Otherwise, you would have sent someone or used the intercom. Besides, why would I care when training is?" I question.

"Well, I decided it would be best if you were with the Game makers during the entire process, to get a feel for how things work," he says. What? It's bad enough that I have to watch these children die, but now he's making me watch them train to kill each other. It's disgusting

"Fine, I'll go!" I snap at leaves, slamming the door and leaving me alone with Jackson.

"Sorry. I must have seemed horrible, he just, yugh, I don't know," I trail off.

"Don't be sorry, that was the best thing I've ever seen," he says, laughing. "I've never seen anyone talk to him like that without receiving a bullet in the head."

"Glad I could make you happy," I say with a giggle. He just smiles.

"Do you want me to go get Ben again?" he says, turning from happy to slightly bitter

"What's wrong?" I ask, completely dumbfounded

"Nothing," he says, masking all emotion again.

"Okay, your mood swings are giving me tell me, and no bullshit, what's wrong. I seriously want to know," I command him. "I'm just tired," he says, lying straight to my face.

"Ugh, do you think I'm retarded? Seriously, do you think I have a mental disability?" I ask him

"No, not at all, I just don't want to…trouble you," he says lamely.

"Please, Jackson, I'm asking you –no, begging you- to tell me," I plead.

"Okay, fine," he says, coming to sit on the edge of my bed. "The truth is, I hate the Hunger Games. I know this probably isn't the best thing to tell the future president, but it's sick and twisted, and I have to go to training tomorrow, and get to know the people I will watch die," he confides, and I've never felt so close to anyone.

"I feel…exactly…the…same," I say, wrapping my arms around him in a comforting hug, and he does the same.

That is when Ben walks in.

**duh,duh,duh oh the classic conflict of our heroin and the two opposite boys, I men come on all great books have it... edward and jacob, peeta and gale, roman and damen, jace and simon... it' cheesy but so sue me, actully plese don't :P lol till next time reders REVIEW, PLEEEEEEEEEESE YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! **


	6. Chapter 6:fury

**so so sorry i took forever i know! i had some technical problems, but it's here now so enjoy!**

CHAPTER 6

"ANGELICA!" screeches Ben, eyes full of hate and boring straight into Jackson's back.

"B-be-Ben, what's wrong?" I stutter as innocently as possible.

"What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG? Are you kidding me? Angelica, I don't believe you would ask me that, after what I just saw!" he exclaims.

"Tell me, what exactly did you just see?" I ask, getting angry, because _he_ walked into _my_ room and started accusing _me_.

"I saw you, all over _him,_" he spits, enough venom in his voice to kill a king cobra.

" I was hugging him, just like I've hugged you a million times," I say rationally.

"Oh, so now I'm being lumped together with some trained monkey your father hired to be your warden? I don't believe this," he says, shooting daggers with his eyes, but I'm not sure if they're aimed at me or Jackson.

"Hey, I am sitting right here, you know," mumbles Jackson, looking almost afraid to defend himself against Ben's allegations.

"Ben, you're going overboard. I hugged him once as a friend, like I do with you, it doesn't mean anything," I tell him meekly, afraid of this new Ben.

"Not to you, at least!" he spits venomously, before storming out and slamming the door behind him.

"I am so sorry, I had no idea. I feel terrible," says Jackson, looking genuinely concerned over how this may affect my friendship with Ben. The more I think about it, the more I realize that's really all there is between us. I mean, I'm a 15 year old girl who only knows one guy my age; something tells me having a crush on him is not unusual, and the truth is I'm not sure I know what love is.

"Why are _you_ sorry?" I ask, because really it shouldn't be him who's sorry, it should be Ben, who feels no remorse.

"I should have left. I'm truly sorry," he says, smiling with perfect pearl teeth. I fall easily, don't I? I blame my father, why? I have no clue but I'm sure it's somehow his fault.

"No, you shouldn't have, you should never leave me," I say desperately. He looks at me sideways. "I-I mean, you have a job to do, right?" I ask, smiling as though it's all a joke. "Uh,yeah, right," he says, sounding disappointed.

BEN

"What's wrong?" how could she even ask a question like that, I've been in love with her since I was 8, I tried to do everything right. I took it slow, I was her friend, I listened to all of her problems, though some of them could get me killed, I paid my due's I was her best friend for 7 years, but I guess tat means nothing to her.

I walk in on her with another guy, a slave of her father at that, and she has the nerve to ask me what's wrong? She is unbelievable, horrible, conniving, beautiful, sweet, kind, ugh "no, c'mon ben" I whisper to myself "move on, just move on", but how do you move on from your life, how do you start new, how do you forget everything that ever mattered to you. The answer is simple, fall in love, only to have our heart ripped out and stomped on! And by your best friend to, I mean what's really the point.

JACKSON

Uuggggghhhh what have I done, I've ruined her life her best friend, and the one I know she really loves, won't even talk to her I tried to find him, tried to explain but instead I find my mind wandering to the previous night, the way her body curved into mine, the way her arms wrapped round my neck, it was like a slice of heaven in this hell I'm living.

I'm so lost in thoughts I rely here my name being called "j-jackson, president snow would like a word with you" says a tentative female voice. Damn it what does satan want with me? Though I already know the answer I follow the woman and enter a greenhouse filled with every type of rose you could imagine, and in every color, but more importantly, in the center sits on a large wooden bench, the president.

"hello, sir you wanted to see me" I say, as much strength as I can muster. "Yes, yes come sit my boy" he says pleasantly, well as pleasant as a snake can be. I walk over and sit as far as possible from the stench of blood on his breath as possible "now I just wanted to ask you a few simple questions" he says as though he's about to ask me the answer to 1+1 "okay" I say staring him in the eye. He chuckles to himself quietly.

"How old are you Jackson" he questions

"I'm sixteen, sir" I reply honestly

"uh hu" he says putting on a thoughtful expression "and do you honestly think someone who has an entire team of body guards, including yourself to protect his daughter would not have a security camera in her room!" he says voice rising with every word.

"I-uh- well" I stutter

"I don't know what you said to my daughter but I saw everything, and I want it to stop, now!" he orders "I don't want some hormonal boy ogling her!" he orders with conviction.

"sir, if I may, I just wanted to say that I think she is the most beautiful and wonderful girl in the world and I truly have genuine feelings for her, and if she ever felt the same way about me, well not even you can stop love" I say regretting it the second it's out.

"love" he sneers "what a ridiculous theory my angelic has no use for love, all love does is ruin people, either it is unrequited or she just falls off a building and leaves you broken and alone!" he shouts "and I refuse to let my daughter go through that! She has no need for love, have you seen her she's beautiful, her mirage will e arranged when she turns 21 to the richest man in the capitol" he states "so just do your job and stay away from her, now go!" he orders.

I turn to him, disbelief plain on my face "so your just going to sell her off to the highest bidder, I honestly thought if anyone in this world you might actually care about her, but I was clearly wrong, to you she's just like one of your precious victors, to be paraded around and sold!" and with that I leave his stunned face, before he can do anything.

ANGELICA

XXX

Training is horrible. I stand behind a 2-way glass mirror and watch these children, all of them, from the malicious careers who actually volunteer for this death, to the weak, afraid children heading to their certain death. At one point I feel as though the tiny girl from district 11 is actually staring at me, big, sad eyes cutting through my defenses and forcing me to leave the room. I just need some fresh air.

Once outside of that horrible place, I see Jackson standing in the hall, leaning against a door that reads "Supply closet." I feel the smile take over my features as I get closer to him.

"Hi," I say, grinning ear to ear by this point. He is doing the same.

"Hi, indeed," he says inquisitively, and I just can't help it, seeing him here after what I just saw I leap into his arms and feel them encase me, protecting me from all.

"Always," he whispers through my hair and into my ears; I feel my body tingle, and instead of questioning what that means I just let myself enjoy my brief moment of bliss.

**well there it is hope you liked it,i tohuhgt it ws time to get the boys perspective on things, and c'mon admit it I threw you all by adding jackson, you thought it would be ben, well don't worry i've got plenty more surprises ;) so tell me if your team jackson or ben... by reviewing! **plzzzzzzzzzzz **pleasssssseeeeeeeeee!**


	7. Chapter 7:numb

**hey i'm baaack sorry i know it's been like forever but ya i hope you enjoy chapter 8...**

CHAPTER 7

After training I am escorted to the dining hall, where thank god my father is not, probably planning the horrible death of 5 year olds. Unfortunately en is also here, I'm not ready I haven't had time to put together a proper apology, guess I'll just have to wing it. I go sit down in the red plush chair across from him, he just snorts and turns the other way. "b-b-en I'm so sorry I-I didn't mean to hurt you" I say with my best puppy dog eyes.

"so… your sorry, not because of what you did but because it hurt me" he says sarcastically

"ben I promise, I didn't mean it I-I just I don't know what came over me" I say quietly, looking at the floor

"so, you don't like him?" he asks looking slightly more forgiving

"I didn't, I wouldn't maybe I could but i- I'm sorry I'm just so confused" I say quietly, shamefully.

"so you don't like me, then" he sys under his breath, but I hear him, he sounds so sad so defeated, not the strong brave boy I'm use to.

"i-I didn't say that, I do ben you're my best friend and I-" I begin only to be cut off by his sad tone

" friend, I guess that's okay I mean-" now it's my turn to cut him off

"no not just as a friend I really truly do like you, I just like him to, and—" I trail off, staring at my soup, knowing I can't look into his eyes, I just wish he could understand.

"ugh your like bella, you know that" he says slightly disgusted, I don't think I've ever seen him act like this…then my mind wanders to a time with zac, before my father killed him. It was right after my mother died, and I was feeling a little low.

_I walked into the large coy library that always smlt the slightest of vanilla, and found im sitting in a large blue chair with a book, no surprise there, still he looked up te moment he heard the faint click of the door behind me. "Angellica, what are you still doing here?" he asked me only slightly surprised "I don't want to go back, I'm not going back, I'm leaving I just wanted to say goodbye to you, I will truly miss you" I say letting the last of many tears spill down my cheek._

"_oh my angelica, sweetheart what's, you can tell me" he said kindly. "I'm mad my mom's gone and my father doesn't care" I sob "oh now angelica you know that's not true, your father loves you, as much as he's capable" he told me truthfully "no, he's horrible he keeps me locked up, and I don't have any friends and if someone does manage to get close to me he moves them, I hate him" I say with conviction "and why, dearest angelica do you think he does so" he asked me "he says it's because he cares, but I don't believe him, if he loved me he wouldn't be ruining my life" I say getting upset again._

"_well sometimes the worst things men do, they do in the name of love" he quoted "what does that mean?" I ask "if you stay. I'll tell you when your older" he said grinning at me._

And so I stayed, I stayed and I shouldered it, but not one day goes by tat I don't regret it. "ben, it's not like that at all, can't we all just be friends, and then maybe someday we'll see where it goes from th—" I'm cut off by his soft warm lips pressing against mine.

I stand there shocked scared to move, to speak, and not sure I can either, my right hand instinctively goes up to my lips, and I just stare at him, not sure what I think "sorry, i-I souldn't have done that I've just been wondering what that would be like for a long tim" he says dreamily, before walking out, I want to shout after him, want to tell him to come back, but I can't I seem to be glued in place.

I don't know how long I just stand there staring in shock after him, how long it takes me to find my voice, I just feel broken, I've lost him, he's gone, I guess you never know what you had until it leaves you staring after it, I am so messed up what is wrong with me, how could I let him go, how could I be so stupid.

Then the answer walks in and rushes to my side, worry clouding his chocolate brown eyes. "angelica, angelica what's wrong, tell me please, please" he begs desperately, but I just can't respond I'm so numb, I know that I like them both, but if I don't chose one I lose both, how can this be happening.

"please, we need someone here now, she's she's just send someone, now!" pleads Jackson into the phone, I can hear the choked sobs in his voice, I can feel his frantic hands getly trying to pull me out of it, but it's as though I feel all of this I see all of this from a distance, like I'm not really here, but far far away, like a ghost in the distance.

And I want to come back, I want more than anything to reach out to him, to tell him I'm okay, to stop his worrying, but I can't I just don't have the strenghth, I don't have the drive.

BEN

Maybe I was to hard on her, maybe I shouldn't have stormed out on her, maybe I should have told her it was okay… But it's not how could she be so insensitive, so uncaring, so completely beautiful, and perfect, and amazing…. No, no, I shake the thoughts of her from my mind, and continue down the hall with a new drive, a new unknown goal, if I walk far enough I'll forget, if I walk far enough the hole in my chest will mend, if I walk far enough….. nothing will happen, but I might have sore legs.

Just then I pass the tall staircase, that I know leads to her bedroom, the bedroom I've spent so many nights in, the bedroom I stopped her nightmares in, the bedroom I found her…. in his arms, and I hate the thought of it, I hate that place and everything it represents, I hate it, and I hate her, (sigh) if only I could make myself believe that.

ANGELICA

"angelica, it's okay, it's okay I'm here your okay, what's wrong, speak to me, please" he continues to beg, taking on a gentler tone ou can do this, c'mon you can do this I tell myself.

I come back and manage a deep breath before falling, unconscious into his arms.

**A/N VERY IMPORTANT!**

**oooh cliffe, okay so here's my request i want all of you to tell me if you are team ben or team jackson, and why THESE RESULTS WILL INFLUENCE THE STORY! so review review review**


	8. Chapter 8: the waking

**heeey soooo sorry i took forever! ut i was finishing primrose: from delicate to dangerous and debating a sequel... which i will be writing, so i'll be spending more time on this now! promise :)**

CHAPTER 8

I wake up to gentle hands, slowly removing a strand of hair from my face, I peer up into an ocean of blue eyes, and feel a mix of emotions hurt, happiness, disappointment, confusion, hunger, oh man hunger.

"Good morning sleeping beauty" says ben with his soft wind chime voice, but wait I thought…..

"b-ben" I venture cautiously, afraid he'll disappear into the night once again

"yes, princess it's me, I'm here" he says softly, comforting me in a way I didn't think possible

"I thought you hated me" I say suddenly remembering the previous day in full force, ben's ice cold blue eyes, and Jackson's soft warm brown ones, it's so opposite of what it was.

"no, of course I could never hate you angelica I was just….confused" he says, mimicking my words from yesterday perfectly, I grin up at him, and sit up, which ends up being a huge mistake, because all the blood rushes to my head and my eyes go bleary.

"ben, wh-what happened?" I ask putting my hand to the throbbing spot on my head

"I don't know, you'll have to ask Jackson, I wasn't there" he says gently, though putting enough venom into Jackson's name that I know something's wrong

"why don't you like him" I ask accepting the ice pack he hands me, but still expecting n answer, which he doesn't want to give.

"I-I just don't really like… competition" he says staring at a point in the distance, eyes glazing over

"are you kidding me, ben, what are you even saying" I fume he infuriates me so much "are you insinuating that I'm like a prize to be won or lost" I yell voice rising with each word.

"no, not at all, it's just he shouldn't be allowed to come this late in the game" he says looking hurt, like someone just gave him a sucker punch

"what game, there is no game this is our lives, not some baseball tourney" I say

"I know that, It's just that I've been in l-"

"angelica, your needed in the training center immediately" interrupts the intercom, and ben looks to the ground flushed with embarrassment, and then there's a soft knock on the door

"speak of the devil" mutters en, still looking at his feet

"I wish you boys would learn to play nice" I say giving him the best smile I can manage, because I know I love him, though in what way I have no clue, I mean I'm not in love with either of them, right, I'm only 15 this sort of thing just doesn't happen, you don't fall in love until our old, right, but how can I not when I have two such perfect boys here.

I open the door to reveal a smiling Jackson on the other side "sorry, but I've got to take you to the training center for day 3" he says slightly solemnly, but keeping his smile.

"day 3, what wow how long was I out?" I ask, hand finding that same spot on my head

"almost a full day, I don't really know what happened, you just blanked, and then, then you fainted, and I didn't know what to do, you scared me so much, I thought you were never waking up" he says looking terrified, and I swore I saw ben pretend to gag himself.

"I don't really remember either, the last thing I remember was…" I trial off remembering the feel of en's lips on mine, the warm tingle

"well, uh we better get going" he says smiling warmly, afraid to press me for details.

When I walk in I find father dearest sitting on a large chair, and I get ready to face him, I walk straight up to him, and look him in the eye "you called for me" I say, slightly disgusted.

"yes, I did, I was wondering why you were not present yesterday, angelica this is your job, you can't just not show because you don't feel like coming, you've already missed so much, honestly" he fume, completely oblivious for a few more minuets before I interject

"well I'm sorry I've been unconscious and fighting a concussion" I spit bitterly.

"What! Why was I not informed of this, oh somebody's going to pay for this" he says angrily

"Because you don't care, you've never cared, sure send a servant to bring me for the games, but you never checked to see if I was okay, I could have died and you'd be fuming over why I wasn't at your precious games" I say, starring him straight in the snake-like eyes.

"Angelica, I am your father you will not speak to me that way!" he yells at me, now attracting the attention of all the game makers, and bodyguards

"I have many words to describe you, and trust me, father is not one of them" I whisper venomously to just him, and then louder so everybody hears I say "i-I'm sorry father, please, please don't lock me in my room again" I beg, and the whole room gasps, perfect reaction, oh how I love making him look like a retard in front of his lackeys.

"oh, please angelica, darling don't be ridiculous" he says faking affection, to help his image.

"Okay, thank you, I promise it won't happen again" I say, faking being humble

"Alright, now come watch the tribute show us what they've got!" says Seneca excitedly

as always district 1 Is first, and the boy is nothing special, though the girl is more than just a pretty face, she's deadly, throwing spears from thirty yards, and skewering the heart perfectly. District 2, both incredible, the boy can throw a 100 pound weight, like a soft ball, and his sword skills scare me, I'm sure if I was a tribute he would kill me, the girl can throw knives like a machine.

District 3, I actually feel sorry for them, both terribly afraid, and weak though the boy is quite technologically advanced, lotta good that'll do him, how can they even put them in the arena with those careers. District for, the boy is young, though strong, he's no cato, but he is nonetheless a career, the girl is well built and can use a mace, also quite attractive, though no glimmer.

District by district the go by, and I'm not really paying attention, until district 10 and the poor boy with the crippled foot comes in, he can't do much but, he knows his plants, which I guess could help him.

When the boy from 11 walks in i can't stop looking at the size of him, he's almost as impressive as the district 2 boy, but it's the girl that surprises me most, I think I actually choked on my lobster when she climbs up the sword rack, and starts jumping around on the ceiling rafters, wow she deserves at least a 10! The district 12 boy seems fairly strong, though when he goes for the hundred pound ball, it nearly lands on his foot, he on tinues until the game makers start singing some drinking song so he goes for the backup plan, camouflage which he is very good at painting a sword into a bush, wow amazing! The girl however is truly amazing with archery, hitting every target, then she shoots straight at the gamemakers! Oh darn she only hit the apple, oh well I still think that was the best of the day!

then Jackson comes up behind me "quite a show, hu?" he says smiling

"ya, that was amazing!" I gush, which is weird because I'm not the type to gush, but he brings it out in me.

He leads me back to my quarters, so the game makers can discuss scores alone "well I guess I'd better-"

"no!" I interrupt him, because I really don't want to be alone " I mean you can stay, if you want" I offer smoothly

"okay, sure" he says opening the door, "hu" we both gasp together, because what was on the other side made my blood run cold.

**oh no! what was it, you'll have to review to find out, cause i'll post the chapter once i have 5 review! oh i am evil :P (::) cookies for everyone**


	9. Chapter 9: the infirmary

**i relly am soooooo sorry you guys you were so great and i took forever, but my bf accidentally erased my story, ya i had to re write it, it was horrid trying to remember it, so sorry!**

**CHAPTER 9**

I storm into my father's office, completely ignoring all attempts to stop me, until I reach the steal door, which needs a code, "angelica if you wait a minuet, I'll see if your father has time to deal with you right no" says his secretary crossly

"fine, but tell him if he's just gonna try and kill me again to forget it" I say to he, her mouth sags open as she hit the buzzer, certain that her amazing president would never do something like that, I mean who would murder children, right…uh ya!

When I finally get in I walk very calmly to his desk, determined to be nice and get some real answers "ah, angelica how are you today" he says grinning at me, though I don't know that he's capable.

"oh I'm fine, you know except the fact that my father just tried to kill me!" I shout at him, oh well so much for being nice, but with this man it just can't be done

"that, my dear child is not true, thise mutts are strictly programmed to target 1 person or a series of people, you were never in any real danger, besides I was merely testing them for the games and thought I'd remind your boys who was boss while I was at it" he says smiling at me, meniachally.

I think back to how the dog-sized wolf only attacked Jackson, it never really paid me any attention, until that I I slit it's throat, saving jackson's life though he quickly returned the favor when we heard ben scream and found another in his room, that one didn't seem to particular about who it killed.

"you tested your sick inventions on my friends!" I shout, horrified

"oh angelica the boys would have been fine, I knew the were both body guards, just think of this as…..a drill" he says coyly "really I did them a favor, I've already spoken to one about your…future arrangements" he says making me want to punch him in the face, I can only hope he talked to Jackson, since I was just talking to him, and know he doesn't hate me.

After about an hour of yelling at my father I get upset and just run out, tears rolling freely down my cheeks an hitting the thick plush carpet, several people stop to try and console me, but my only thought is to run, run as fast as I can, I don't know where I'm going, or what I'm doing, but I just continue to run.

I don't really know how I ended up here, but I did and there's no turning back now, I lean over ben's infirmary bed where he lay unconscious, and unaware of my presence. I don't even know how to begin, I just want him to understand, just want him to see my point of view.

I lean over his bed, pulling my hair back into an elastic, and let it just tickle the back of my neck "Ben, oh Ben I'm so sorry, I know you're in here because of me, I know it's my fault, my fault, why does everyone I love die, my fault, my fault" I just keep repeating that, curling up in the chair one of the attendants brought me.

"angelica, angelica, it's time to wake up" says a sweet voice and I rip my eyes open looking around, seeing the dawn light coming through the window and realizing that I fell asleep in the chair I look don to see ben still unconscious and my heart sinks

but then I continue and my eyes meet with his "oh hi, Jackson" I say casually while trying to rip my fingers through the knots in my hair

"hi" he chuckles "sorry to wake you, but I figured you wouldn't want one of your dad's employee's to be doing it" he says quietly, as not to wake the other patients

"ya, thanx Jackson… for everything" I say as sincerely as possible, he really has been amazing

"hey, no problem, I mean it's my job right, protecting you" he says with a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"hm, I hope you don't think that's all you are to me" I say smiling at him, watching his eye glint as he blushes a bright crimson "your one of my best friends, and I-I love you jackson" I admit because I know I do.

"really" he asks hopefully and I feel awfull for what I'm about to say, but oh well here goes nothing

"of course, you are one of my best friends and I do love you, I love you both and I don't know how yet, I care so much about you and you're both so wonderful, I really don't deserve you guys" I say casting my eyes to the ground, but he doesn't let me finish

before I know it his strong hands are wrapped around m slim ones as he whispers "no, it's not your fault, it's okay don't beat yourself up, I don't blame you" his voice is so gentle and his presence so comforting, so I don't exactly resist when he leans in and presses his lips ever so softly to mine.

**now i want you to know this does not mean i've made up my mind yet, cause i really haven't! i want you guys to tell me who you prefer and i'll see what happens so pleeeeeeease review, make my life, and i will also be opening a pole on my profile, so vote! by for now! **


	10. Chapter 10: midnight blue

**hi, i'm back and fairly quickly to! well i ope you all enjoyed the last chapter and this one to!**

CHAPTER 10

"you, better get going" he whispers in my ear as he pulls his lips away

"I-um I uh ya sure you go on ahead, I'll meet you in the presidential box" I tell him, he nods his head, losing the door behind him and I'm left there trying to figure out what just happened, it was weird, kissing him, I liked it, but did I really want to and I—

"angelica" I hear a tired, groggy voice say from behind me, I turn around and see Ben lying awake on the bed, oh no, how long has he been awake, did he see.

"Ben, oh Ben your alright" I say giddily, he just smiles

"the last thing I remember is jackson, did he, oh please tell me he didn't save my life, AND steal the girl I'm in love with" he groans into his pillow l-love, did he just say love!

"oh Ben I-I'm sorry i- I didn't kn-" my voice is cut off when he presses his lips to mine, once he releases me I can't do anything but run out into the hallway and try to clear my head. Oh why did they have to choose today, why both of them, why do they have to be such good kissers!

Then the second on my don't want to see list starts sauntering down the hall, eyes slit like a cat's and glaring at me. "Angelica" she says evilly.

"this really isn't a good time jasmine" I say, as she stands there with her short leather skirt showing off her scrawny bowlegged chicken legs and too tight top revealing her…..well lack of chest, she is so horrible, a rich snotty stuck up snob who thinks she's better than everyone else.

"oh ya, probably a little tired from mackin on both of your body guards" she says cockily

"jasmine, I really don't need this right now" I say putting my head in my hands

"oh, who would've known, snow's perfect little ANGELica, the biggest slut in the capitol" she sneers, glaring at me.

"wow look who's talking" I say gesturing to her horrible outfit "listen, jasmine I know your in love with Jackson and just because he'd rather go out with my father than you, doesn't mean you get too sit here and make fun of me" I say to the obsessed girl.

"ugh, I swear if you weren't…." she trails off menacingly

"if I weren't what, jasmine, the presidents daughter, aw is the big bad game makers daughter afwaid" I ask trying to get her to leave, because the truth is I don't only hate her because she's head over heals in love with Jackson, she's also the daughter of Seneca Crane, and loves the hunger games, that's all she does is watch them, plus she's just mean to everybody!

"Angelica, we better go," says Jackson, magically reappearing right when I need him

then, jasmine turns on her "Jackson's around" switch flips her hair, and smiles "oh, hi Jackson" she says in a tone that makes me want puke.

"oh, uh hi jasmine, Angelica you coming" he says completely ignoring her so I spring up off the floor, and close my hand in his as we walk down the hallway, and get one quick glance of jasmine with steam coming out of her ears.

"my hero" I say in thanx for saving me from the evils of jasmine

"ya, well hold onto that feeling where I'm taking you" he says, I just laugh

"Hm, don't worry, right now we're only going to my stylists you can apologize after, when we're on our way to the interviews" I say smiling coyly, as we separate and I go to face my prer team

Havien greets me, as usual, but today she brought back up in the form of stacia, and rilaya "hello" I greet politely, as they pull me over to the vanity table "oh, my angelica just look at our cuticles! Oh havien how did you do this without us for the ceremonies" shrieks stacia.

"oh, it was not easy, but I managed, so we can just fix her up now" she says determined, honestly I'm sitting right here,

"ladies, calm down, angelica is beautiful, so let's just do what evelian told us to, and go watch the interviews from front row" says rilaya, saving me from hearing about how long I let my eyebrows grow out.

After 2 hours of being "prepared" evalian comes in, carying a garment bag to save me from them "okay havien, stacia, you can go get ready for the interviews, but rilaya would you mind staying to help with her hair" she asks and I'm glad she chose rilaya, the only one who didn't suggest they dye my hair orange!

"ya, sure, I'll go get the curling iron" she says flouncing her skirt as she leaves

"hey evalian, so what am I wearing for the interview" I ask, pretending I care, but she won't let me see until she does my hair, since she wants it to be a surprise, so I sit through her curling my hair, before twisting the top layer into and elaberate swirl with sparkling blue pins so I have the long curls spilling down to my waist.

She has me close my eyes as she finishes my make up, but won't let me open them as she slips a silky dress over my head, and does up a pair of delicate heals on my feet. "okay, open" she says excitedly.

I open my eyes and almost don't believe what I see my silk dress is a deep midnight blue, with a halter style top decorated with precious sapphires, and a tight bodice that hugs the curves of my petite frame, before falling elegantly down to the floor. The shoes are also decorated with the rare blue stones, and a delicate heel.

The make up around my ocean blue eyes makes them seem even bluer, and my hair really does look phenomenal, but the best part about the outfit is the sapphire encrusted locket, with my mother's picture inside. "oh, evalian I love it, really I look, I look"

"Beautiful, ravishing, exquisite" she finishes for me and then she's rushing me out the door, so fast I nearly crash into Jackson, who's stylist has also been hard at work, because he looks absolutely gorgeous!

"wow, angelica you look….. absolutely breathtaking" he says taking in my newly styled form.

"thanks, Jackson" I giggle "you look pretty dashing yourself" I say straightening his tie, and placing my hand on his forearm, before we get into the limo.

When we arrive at the training centre, we catch up with ceaser as he's walking into makeup "ceaser, how have you been" I ask smiling

"oh, look I really don't have ti- oh angelica, darling wonderful, and yourself, oh and who is this young man" he asks suggestively.

I just giggle "oh, ceaser you really haven't changed have you, oh and this is Jackson, my body guard" I say smiling beatifically.

"oh, angelica, as delightful and lovely as ever" he says smiling back "but, I really must go, promise we'll catch up before you leave again" he says truthfully

"yes, we must, and we better go get our seats" I say and with a quick kiss on the cheek we're off.

I really do like ceaser, he always tries to help the tributes, and though he is a mindless capitol citizen he's nice, and sweet, so I really don't think he's much harm.

Just as we're about to take our seats in the presidential box, ben walks in looking as handsome and healthy as ever, he comes and sits on the side of me that Jackson is not, we all trade smiles, but I catch the competitive glare between the boys, and as the stage lights up, I begin to think that this is going to be a long night.

**okay i hope you liked it also, this is your last chance to tell me: jackson or Ben! next chapter i will let you know her decision, so help me make up my mind! pleaaaaase review. i'm starting to think you guys don't like me :( please please!**


	11. Chapter 11: now, boys

**hi, sorry it's been soooo long, i'm trying to start a new story, and i'm doing some betaing, so ya my apologies, tough i really like this chapter!**

CHAPTER 11

"Because she came here with me" those word, those 6 words, when said alone mean nothing, but when put together they can change the world, start a rebellion, bring down the capitol, start a new brighter Panem an….. oh who am I kidding, it's some teenager with a crush, who's about to die, nothing will happen and nothing will change district twelve will lose like they always do, one of the bruiting, sexy, terrifying or just plain evil careers will win, and the cycle will repeat for years to come, until I can change it.

It's the sad truth of life in our country, no, one lovesick boy, and determined, fiery girl can not change 73 ears of torture an cruelty, right?

I was so absorbed in my own thoughts I missed ceaser signing off, "Angelica, c'mon I'll walk you back to your room" offers Ben smiling beautifully

"oh no, no need to trouble yourself, I have to be on duty outside of her quarters anyway, I can walk her back" offers Jackson politely.

"um, excuse me, I believe I offered first" pipes up Ben, trying to keep the edge out of his voice

"yes, but It would be much more convenient for me to escort her safely back" says Jackson smiling, but punching the word safely

"oh, so your saying I can't protect her" he accuses loudly,

"no, I'm not saying that at all, I'm thinking it, but, I'm not saying it" says Jackson with a small grin

"oh well, aren't you funny, unfortunately funny doesn't get anyone, anywhere!" shouts Ben, I don't believe this I-I've never seen him act like this, he's getting a little bitter.

"ok, boys calm down, it's fine I can get to my room just fine by myself" I say starting out the door as I bump into ceaser

"angelica, you can't go alone" they say in unison

"she's not, I'll escort her back to her room, and obviously I, ceaser the magnificent will ensure her safety" he says with a wink, and the boys back off, allowing ceaser to walk me back, though I'm sure they'll catch up with me later.

I ride back to my quarters with ceaser giving me advice about the two boys, "well you do have a tuff decision on your hands I mean jackson has that tall dark and handsome thing going on, but ben's got those dreamy blue eyes and tousled blonde hair, like the golden boy" says ceaser enthusiastically, I can't help but giggle at is sentiments.

"you know they are more than just they're looks" I say laughing as the limo pulls up to the mansion.

"WHAT! Who are you and what have you done with angelica" he demands laughing as we walk to my room

"well, thanks for the advice ceaser I just wish It was that easy, but as William shakespear once said "the course of true love never did run smooth" I sigh

" who the heck is that, oh my angelica, you are far to pretty to be reading so much" he says with a laugh "but anyway, I'd go with Jackson, he has a cute butt" says ceaser with a sly grin as he walk out the door, okay more than I needed to know, I mean I knew ceaser was…well that way, but I didn't know he enjoyed staring at teenagers butts!

I can't help but laugh, he's like the father I never had…. Well the father I wish I never had. I close the door behind myself and collapse on my bed.

Only a few minuets later I hear the rap of knuckles on my door, "come in" I say softly wondering who it could possibly be!

"hi it's us" whispers Jackson and Ben in unison

"oh, hi" I say with slightly more attitude than necessary, but I kind of feel they deserve it.

"please don't be mad, we came to apologize" says Ben, I just turn away from them going back to the sketch I keep hidden under my pillow just starting to darken the shading on the silky black wings of the delicate mockingjay on the page "please angelica, we're really sorry" says Jackson, and they both give me those huge puppy dog eyes, and I feel my heart melt.

"no fair" I giggle jumping off the bed, I don't believe I actually thought I could stay mad at them!

"so you forgive us?" they ask together, still keeping the puppy dog eyes, wow they sure know how to manipulate a girl

"yes, I forgive you, but only on one condition, you two have to stop fighting!" I say authoritatively "because if you can't get along then I'm leaving" I threaten

"okay, we can handle that" says Jackson smiling sweetly at me

"well I know I can, but I'm not sure he can handle it" says Ben slightly bitterly, glaring at Jackson, which he promptly returns with a scowl of his own.

"now boys can we play nice, or do I have to separate you" I ask treating them like the 5 year olds they're behaving as.

"no, we'll be good" they say together, and then ben has to go because only Jackson is supposed to e here so when the door shuts I'm left alone with Jackson, he turns to me and smiles

"so, you feel like I do about that bread guy?" he asks me, though I can tell he really doesn't like small talk about the hunger games.

"I feel like I don't want to talk about the hunger games, or my father or Ben or anything else, but us" I say staring into is beautiful eyes

"what do you mean" he asks a little to innocently

"I just want to talk about something…..different" I say slowly, contemplating each word before it exits my mouth.

**okay, so i didn't really tell you her choice exactly, because i honestly can't decide! it's sooooo hard, guys please help me! i have an almost even number of choices! **


	12. Chapter 12: Breakfast guests

**okay i'm back, i'm sorry but i ad to put my baby girl down this week, so i spent literally 3 days crying my eyes out and eating chocolate :'( so ya some revies might cheer me up a little also Rest In Peace bugle 2000-2010, sorry i want to put her memory in as many places as possible**

CHAPTER 12

"so, are you sure your gonna be okay" asks Jackson peering into my soul, I don't believe I just told him everything, and I mean everything all my anger, hate, and sorrow. I think I may have overwhelmed him, I mean after all the only other person I've shared this with was…Ben. Ben who I haven't seen since last night, while I've been sitting here venting to Jackson, all night

"ya, I'm fine Jackson, but thanx for listening" I say genuinely , "it's nice to have someone to talk to" I say smiling sugary sweet

"well, you can always talk to me" he says beating even my sweetest smile, **sigh** he really is perfect.

"thanx, I just might take you up on that" I say giggling happily.

"well, until then, are you hungry" he asks getting a mysterious glint in his eyes

"ya, starved!" I say, maybe a little to exited, but I really am hungry!

"okay, then lets go!" he says excitedly, pulling out a blindfold and getting that mysterious and excited look back in his eyes.

"um…. Jackson, should I be afraid" I ask giggling, though still curious.

"no, but you should close our eyes, and trust me, k" he says sweetly, smiling, and I mean how could I not trust him, but till it just wouldn't be me if I obeyed easily.

"oh, I don't know you look a little shifty to me, I'm just not sure you can protect me" I say poking him teasingly, slightly making fun of his job

"hey, I'm older than you" he says laughing.

"oh, by like 9 months" I say as he wraps the blind fold gently around my eyes and starts leading me out the door.

XXX

"oh c'mon just a little hint" I beg as he leads me up yet another staircase.

"alright, we're no longer in your father's house" he says mischievously

"uh, ya I kinda gathered that with the whole going outside, getting into a car thing we did earlier" I say voice dripping sarcasm

"Okay, no need to be so snarky, we're almost there" he says laughing sweetly. We walk up a few more steps and then he spins me to face the other way and gently unties the bandana covering my eyes and I gasp lightly.

" oh Jackson, this is so beautiful!" I gush "when did you, how did you, aww Jackson, this is the sweetest thing ever!" I say looking over the beautiful ledge of the highest building in the capitol, and going over to sit on the pink silky blanket with flowers spread aroung and food, everything from bacon to biscuits.

"oh, Jackson white roses, my favorite!" I say smiling ear to ear "but when did you find the time to do this?" I ask confused, I mean he was with me all night….. I think?

"well, remember when you started getting really tired and fell asleep for a wile, well I quickly hopped in my car and ordered breakfast, then I set it up here" he says like it was the easiest thing in the world

"right because ordering it to my room would have been far to easy" I say smiling

"well, since your so special, I figured I should do something special" he says smiling, aw he's so sweeeet!

"oh, this is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me" I say wrapping my arms around his neck, and he wraps his around my waist tightly.

"Not that I don't love this moment, but the food's getting cold" he says in my ear, and so we walk over to the blanket and start digging in

" mm, Jackson I gotta say even for the capitol this is good, or maybe it's just the company" I say

"well, thanks your not so boring yourself" he says teasingly, and before I can retort the door flies open and armed guards run in, I mean it was like 30 guards with guns and I recognized some of them from my dad's secret service, the ones he sends to the districts, to watch the tributes in the justice building.

"there they are get them" says the head of security, as they ambush us, grabbing me roughly and dragging me to my feet.

"hey, let go, stop don't you know who I am!" I screech kicking and thrashing in the guards iron grip

"of course we do, who do you think sent us" rumbles the giant guard in my ear

"Let go, let go, stop get away from me, and hey leave him alone!" I yell seeing them dragging Jackson away, and I feel my thrashing legs finally make contact with someone,

then one of the guards with guns leans forward whispering "do that again ,and I swear, I don't care who's daughter you are, I will knock you into next century!"

I keep thrashing and kicking, but then I feel more iron arms encase my torso and legs, carrying me down the stairs.

**okay i know some Ben fans may be upset, but don't worry Ben comes back in a BIG way in chapter 13 :) pleeeeeease review!**


	13. Chapter 13: the closet

**hi I'm soooooo sorry really i am but well... theres been a lot going on in my life I truly appolagize to all you reader... anyway this chapter is kinda different, so i hope you like it!  
**

CHAPTER 13

"Jackson" I whisper into the dark room. Trying to adjust my eyes, but man it's dark, until that is someone decides to turn on a bright florescent light right in my eyes "ow, hey wasn't it enough to drag me down against my will, do you have to blind me to!" I shout into the empty room.

"He's not here" replies a strangely calm voice from the intercom "is there anything you need, miss snow" asks the same dreary voice.

"Oh I don't know maybe some water, a salad, oh I know TO BE LET GO" I say sarcastically.

"Well, I'm sorry angelica, but after what you did, I don't think that's possible" she says snarkily, ugh, great, just another capitol dunce.

"Honestly, since when is eating breakfast with a cute guy a capitol offense" I say being as obnoxious as possible.

"Since you were born MY daughter" booms that voice that makes me feel like jabbing myself in the eye with a pencil….. wait no scratch that jab HIM with the pencil. Ugh I suppose who else would send 30 some armed guards after his own daughter!

"Ugh, trust me I've been regretting it since the day I was born" I seethe bitterly

All I hear back is the smooth gliding of the walls as they separate to create a door, where that thing walks in from, along with 5 armed body guards "oh, good to know our countries fearless leader can't handle a 15 year old girl without a S.W.A.T team" I say voice absolutely dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh trust me angelica, I can handle you all on my own" he says smiling menacingly, I just scowl, who does he think he is the president…. Okay well still, that's beside the point! "And I'm done with your disobeying me, honestly I let you away for a night and then I catch you on the roof with, with a BODYGUARD!" he bellows angrily

"Honestly I was just—" I begin

"NO, you will not interrupt me! You will stay right here until the games start at 10, then I will have you escorted by a team of guards to the box, you will spend the day there and then return to this locked room, and then after the games you will go home and be locked in your room for 3 weeks!" he shouts

"Oh, so just like usual, locked in a prison, with the stupid games looming over my head" I say bored I mean he doesn't honestly think that's any different than usual

"No, not like normal at all, because now, I choose your guard staff, and if I ever catch you with either of those boys ever again I swear I'll—"

"You'll do WHAT shoot her, unlikely to bad for your image" says a cocky voice behind me, I whip my head around and don't believe what I see, but he's really there blond hair all tousled, ocean blue eyes reflected onto every screen.

"Ben!" I call excitedly, when I see the slim black remote in his hand, oh yes! I don't know how he did it, but he got the remote to control this room!

"You, how did you get that" my father yells at him as Ben drops a plexus glass door between evil and us.

"I have my ways" he says to president snow through the glass, and they start having a scowling contest

"You obviously don't know who I am, when I get out of here I'm going to kill you, little boy and trust me I don't make hollow threats" he growls

"I know you don't sir, but I had to take the chance…. For angelica" he says crossing to me, and undoing the bindings "come on angelica, we better get out of here, before you know" he says shooting a sideways glance at my father

"ya, let's go" I say placing my hand in his, and so we run. We go, rushing past the guards, leaving them shell shocked when we lock the door on them, and run as fast as our legs can carry us.

"Ben, why'd you do that for me, you could get yourself killed!" I say gasping for air.

"Because" he begins lurching into a closet to hide from the onslaught of guards running after us "your worth it, angelica" he whispers, breath tickling my ear

"No, I'm not Ben, I'm so not worth your time, and I'm playing tug of war with you guys' hearts, trust me Ben I'm not worth our life" I say staring into his sky blue eyes.

"Angelica, in the end the truth is if I had to choose you or my own life, I think don't really think it would be a decision at all" he says seriously staring at me intently.

"Own life, own life PLEASE say own life!" I beg him, practically on my knees

"You're right I would choose my life" he says and i exhale the stress, at least he's got some common sense," but only because you and my life are synonymous" he says smiling brightly, ugh why does he have to be so damn cute, I mean how can I turn down that face… but I still can't tell him the same, because I still can't make up my damn mind! It's so frustrating, and I must seem like the most selfish person ever, but how can I possibly just choose one.

"Ben I-"

"shh" he says lightly pressing his finger to my lips "I know, I know" he says, looking only slightly dejected.

"Angelica, I am a reasonable man, but you are dancing on my last nerve, come out now and I won't kill him" says my father's voice on the intercom, right like we're going out there, no way I'm not stupid.

"Fine, have it your way, but just remember, I do have a different way of getting you out of there" he says, in a tone that makes my blood run cold, because I know exactly what he's talking about.

In that instance my worst fears are realized, and the only thing I can hear over my father's laugh of pure delight, is jackson's blood curling screams…

**oooooooooh, okay i promise the next chapter sooner, and pleeeeeeeeease review, i need your help deciding i mean these boys are both sooo great!**


	14. Chapter 14: bribes and barganing

**okay so it's been forever, sorry i was on a Caribbean cruise and didn't have computer access so sorry! i hope you like chapter 14! **

CHAPTER 14

"JACKSON" I scream before I can stop myself I barrel out of the closet looking everywhere screaming like a crazy person "JACKSON, WHERE ARE YOU, JACKSON PLEASE" I beg, feeling the tears I always hold back sting my eyes as they roll down my face, and then in a blur of legs and arms I am taken right back to where I started, completely destroying all of Ben's hard work.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I chide myself, now not only have I gave away where Ben was, got myself brought back into hell, and didn't even manage to find Jackson, and just when I feel like it couldn't get any worse he walks in.

"what a stupid child, didn't you know we'd find you, face it Angellica there's no where you can run, no where you can hide, I will find you, and you need to get it through your thick skull that I can do whatever I want to whomever I want, I can destroy both of them right now with one command and you can't do anything about it" he says viciously.

I just drop my head in defeat and whisper "I know, I get it okay"

"Then are you ready to cooperate?" he asks

"No I'll never be able to cooperate with you, but I know now that it really doesn't matter what I think does it?" I say defeated.

"just, please do whatever you want with me, but please, please don't hurt them" I beg allowing the tears to fall once again like a harsh rain down my face.

"I'm a reasonable man angelica, and provided you cooperate I don't se the need to get rid of my 2 best young body guards" he bargains, I'm being blackmailed with their lives.

"okay" I whisper then as an afterthought I ad "for them, not for you" venomously, he laughs

"Brendon would you kindly escort my daughter back to her room" he says maniacally Brendon, Brendon I've heard that name before, I just can't put my finger on it oh well I think, and then he steps out blond hair neatly cropped short, kaki pants hang loosely around is waist, black t- shirt worn tight to show off his muscles, and finally those ocean blue eyes I'm so used to seeing full of laughter, and love reflected with hatred, so different from his son

"Angellica, long time, hu" he says leering at me

"H-hi Mr. walker I say testily. Last time I saw him it didn't end so well…

_It was about a year ago, right before I was leaving again for a whole six months with my father and I walked into the office to meet Ben at 10 o clock like we had been for the past 11 years to say goodbye, but instead I found his father sitting there yelling at him "what the hell are you doing here, do you have a death wish, you stupid, stupid boy"_

"_I'm sorry dad, I-I just had to see her before she left" he reasoned, but his father ignored him_

"_I mean really, the president's daughter, do you want to throw your life away, not to mention both our careers! Stay away from that girl you hear me, stay away from her" he chided Ben, while I stood there, hiding behind the bookcase doing nothing_

"_Dad, I can't do that, it would be like asking the sky not to be blue, a fish not to swim, or Romeo to leave Juliet," he says poetically melting my heart_

_His father, however was not so moved "don't pull that poetic crap on me kid 'cause it ain't doing you any good"_

_At that point I stepped out "um, excuse me, Mr. Walker, my father wanted to see you in his office" I say sweetly_

"_Oh, um of course miss snow, thank you" he said hastily exiting, but not before giving a pointed look toward his son._

"Come angelica, let's go," he says motioning toward the door. I walk in front of him and we start down the hall

"ehem" he clears his throat, and starts looking around anxiously

"Um, is there something you'd like to talk about, sir?" I ask autiously

"No, well, um, it's just doyouknowwherebenis" he blurts so fast I barely catch it,

"Um, well not exactly, but don't worry I've made sure he won't be harmed" I add hastily

He just nods "well I think this is your room" he says gesturing to the mahogany door with the golden plated "Angelica Snow" engraved in it

"ya, well see ya around" I mutter casually

"ya, and um if you do see him-"

"I'll let you know" I finish smiling

"thanx" he mutters leaving

I walk to the reversible wall, and click the button to turn it into a TV, where the rest of the capitol would be tuning into the games, I flip to my new favorite show: glee!

**yay glee! hehe sorry, i'm obsessed, any way, pleeeeeeeeeeeease review!**


	15. Chapter 15:the games

**hey, so i really love this chapter and i hope you all do to, i'd like to thank sweet yume for their imput it was the inspiration behind this chapter! hope you like it!  
**

CHAPTER 15

I wake up to the intercom beeping loudly "ugh" I groan loudly, and reach for my lenses (no not contacts, they have a film over them that helps your eyes adjust to light) before turning on the light I flip my legs over the bed and drag my slippered feat across the carpet to the disturbance "what?" I inquire tiredly

"your father wants to talk to you" she says meekly

"okay, I'll be there in a half hour" I say thinking how that's more time than I need, since I don't really care how I look for him.

"no, that won't do, please Miss. Snow, we need you here now" she says urgently

"I just woke up, I need at least 15 minuets to take a shower" I bargain

"alright, see you in 20 minuets" she says cautiously

"okay, sure" I say quickly, running to turn the taps of the shower so I can be ready in time, not that I care about my father but Olivia doesn't deserve his anger if I'm late, I mean she's just an assistant.

I step out of the shower and let the dryer work it's magic, I gather the long strands of hair into my hand, and tie it back in a messy bun. I pull on m favorite pair of denim jeans and a light blue cotton tank top, then head out the door.

XXX

I swing open the door to his office, and stride right up to his desk "You called," I say sarcastically

"ah, yes well angelica I've arranged an even better way for both of us to enjoy the games" he says enthusiastically (well, kind of I don't think he's capable of enthusiasm… or any emotion other than hate)

"Ooo-kay" I drawl slowly, wondering what he could possibly mean, the only thing that would make it better is if I had them beside me, but I know that won't happen

"well, since I need to be up in the game makers spire with Seneca, I figured you could go watch with his daughter, ya know talk girl stuff" he says. My heart sinks, I will not, spend time with that, that witch, especially not while watching the hunger games

"um… that's okay I'll just watch alone" I say politely (well as politely as possible, considering)

"No, you won't you will watch with seneca's daughter, and like it" he growls

"you can't force me to like something" I scoff

"true, but I can force you to watch the games. Unless of course you'd prefer I go find those boys and-"

"no, no it's fine I'm going" I sigh walking out

"Excellent, third floor theater" he grins as I storm out

XXX

I walk into the theater and she's already sitting there, great I go sit on the opposite side of the long plush couch "hello Angelica" she scoffs

"look I'm no happier about this than you are, so let's just ignore each other and make our father's happy, okay?" I ask tolerantly.

"Oh, I'm not here for my father he did offer, but this TV has the games in 3D! I can't wait I'll be able to feel the blood up close" she chatters excitedly "so who's your favorite tribute, mine the boy from 2, man those muscles are gonna draw some blood, he'll be super entertaining!" she says like she's talking about a new blouse.

"oh, um I liked the little girl from 11, she seemed really sweet" I say gently

"Sweet, sweet doesn't win the hunger games or provide any entertainment, sweet is BORING, I mean c'mon she won't last past the first day! The boy from 11 on the other hand is HUGE, and from what daddy says great with a sword, though I think I prefer when they use maces… lots of blood that way" she says eyes widening with anticipation.

"uh, ya sure" I say "have you seen the first day yet" I ask

"no, I wanted to watch yesterday, but Dad told me to wait so- oh shhh it's starting!"

we watch from the perspective of a tribute, as though we are her being lifted like an animal from the the waiting room into the slaughter house, and then they pan the arena settling on the golden horn with the life sustaining supplies, and then we hear Claudius templesmith's booming voice "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN LET THE 74TH HUNGER GAMES BEGIN!"and then they're off some tributes run for the horn others for the woods, then I see the district 12 girl she is grappling with a boy who I think might be from district 8 or maybe 9, they fight a while then I see the girl from district 2 with a handful of knives and she throws one at the boy and he dies instantly, Jasmine cheers for the blood. then the girl uses the pack to block the knife thrown at her skull, then she runs into the woods, and out of our view"oh, that's cheap we should've seen her brain all over the floor!"

so many people die that first day, the boy from district 2 leaps up behind the boy from 5 and snaps his neck, the girl from 3 gets into a fight with the boy from 10 and gets herself a knife in the chest, both tributes from 6 and 7 die though I miss how the girl from 10 gets a poorly aimed arrow to the arm from the incompetent district 1 girl, then the boy from 4 finishes her off it goes on and on it's horrible, by the end of the day the girl from 9 and the boy from 8 have also been killed. Jasmine is cheering for each drop of blood shed.

During this time something happens something strange in the fight the boy from 2 was almost overthrown by the boy from 4 and then the district 12 boy killed him and joined the careers! ugh that is horrible why would he do that, then we see the girl walking through the woods and the careers getting ready to hunt…. And so ends day 1 with the seal of the capitol "wow, that was awesome the first day's always the best! And that was even better than usual!" she's so excited it makes me sick. Now today comes on the screen and we watch as it happens live.

the show begins around dawn on the second day, this means there were no deaths through the night, they show katniss, I think her name was, asleep belted into a tree, then we hear a SNAP and the camera pans, and we see the girl from district 8, Natasha I believe doing the dumbest thing possible she is actually starting a fire, a fire right at dawn, then they show a shot of the careers including district 12 uh, peeta I think strange name. Seeing the smoke and heading in the direction of the idiot, and my sister, my stomach does a flip then they show other tributes doing things like hunting, sleeping, or just walking towards something in the distance, they show every tribute still alive, just to show the audience they are alive. Before long they are back to the spot with the girl who started the fire, because the careers have just found her and they surround her like the pack of wild dogs they are, as she begs for her life. The boy from 1 calls out

"twelve down, eleven to go" and this makes them all cheer except for peeta he looks like a lost puppy, who found a pack of wolves. then the monstrous boy from district two stabs her with his sword, there is a horrible scream and they all run off, I let out the air I'd been holding in, they have passed over katniss, they didn't see her. but then they return to the girl from 8, she is not really dead just lying there bleeding to death this is horrible.

"oh, cool she's not dead BLOOOOD" screeches jasmine. Then they show the end of an argument that had broken out amongst the careers, about weather or not the girl is dead finally peeta ends the argument

"we're wasting time, I'll go finish her, and let's move on!" he shouts over the voices of the careers, then they quickly show a shot of katniss falling upside down in her tree. once peeta is gone the careers start talking about weather or not they should kill peeta, and it seems the main reason they want him is to find katniss, but as they start talking about what he's told them about her I realize it's all wrong he told them she'd be sleeping in a cave, because she's bad with camouflage and climbing, he said that the sword is her weapon, he even said she's horrible at archery,

and then it hits me like a load of bricks, he's helping her, he's protecting her, and now we all know why he's with the careers, he really does love katniss. What a piece of luck, I mean the hunger games is no place for love. We see peeta arrive at the dying girl he kneels next to her, she screams but he starts whispering

"shh, shh, I'm not going to hurt you, I'm going to end your pain, just picture the happiest place you know, with your family and friends, I'm going to send you their hold on to that picture and remember, you will not be forgotten, he says as he plunges his knife into her heart so gently he could be massaging her back, and she dies with a peaceful look on her face, peeta mellark set her free, he stand up looks into the sky and says

"I sincerely apologize to all the citizens of district 8" and this is very strange, "Why is he sorry, and that was way to nice, I want to see their pain!" shouts the b- witch.

the rest of the day all we see of katniss is her snaring a fat rabbit and cooking it in the dead girls fire. they show the other tributes just doing whatever but no more deaths so far

"Ugh, stupid district 12, ruining everything!" she shouts "oh, well see ya tomorrow" she says walking out, uh ya really looking forward to it I think sarcastically.

I walk back to my room and crawl into my bed, then I hear faint music from outside the door, and I only know one person wo plays the guitar, I run to the door and reveal him in all his glory taking in everything from the blond hair, to the beautiful custom Gibson in his hands.

I giggle, and he starts to sing

Honey you are a rock  
Upon which I stand  
And I come here to talk  
I hope you understand

I came here with a load  
And it feels so much lighter, now I've met you  
And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

However far away I will always love you  
However long I stay I will always love you  
Whatever words I say I will always love you  
I will always love you

Honey you are the sea  
Upon which I float  
And I came here to talk  
I think you should know

However far away I will always love you  
However long I stay I will always love you  
Whatever words I say I will always love you  
I will always love you

Honey you are a rock  
Upon which I stand

He strums his final chord, I look up into his ocean of blue eyes and feel my heart melt into the floor.

**sooooo what did you think let me know please i just live for your imput and if you have any ideas ou want to share don't hesitate i'm open to suggestions :) i just want to tank all of my readers and reviewersfor making writing such a joy!**!


	16. Chapter 16: Angellica's rose

**hey, look an update without taking a month! i'm really proud of myself :P lol okay well i really hope you guys enjoy it, and also it's a bit different so i don't know if i butchered it or nailed it i really liked it, but i tend to be bias so please let me know how YOU thought i did... be brutal, and ya, thanx!**

CHAPTER 16

"Ben that was- I- I there's it was beautiful, wonderful, thoughtful, sublime, there are no words to describe it" I gush feeling tears sting the back of my corneas.

"Well, those words could be used to describe my muse as well" he says softly, and I feel a blush creep into my cheeks.

"Always the charmer" I tease hitting him lightly in the arm, he just smiles

"Yup, that's me" he jokes

"Well don't just stand there, come in" I tell him, opening the door widely and gesturing to the room

"Normally I would, but your dad's still watching like a hawk, so-"

"so, you just came here to serenade me, then leave" I say a little just a little pouty

"sorry" he leans down and presses his lips against my cheek, I feel my hand fly up to cup the spot where he kissed me, as I watch him saunter down the hall way.

I flop onto my bed haphazardly, and reach for my sketch book, (no I'm not going to be drawing hearts, or sketches of ben and Jackson shirtless….. well maybe later) I flip back to the drawing of my mother, and stare at it for a while. I'm trying to decide what to draw, and she always inspires me, she was so idealistic kind of like me.

I go to the next empty page and start drawing the outline of a beautiful rose. My pencil glides delicately across the page, first with long graceful stokes, then shorter rapid lines, to create the detailing. I love to draw because no one can tell me what to do, think, or how to act, I'm free to do whatever I wish it's just me and my pencil, gliding across the smooth, unmarked expanse of the paper, like I'm drawing a new start.

I add a few small water droplets to the ends of a few petals, and pick a light pink pencil crayon to clour it in. I take out a light blue, and start to draw the background; I feel my eyelids getting heavy, I slump over the rose.

_I look up into the clear blue sky, and lush green forest and I'm running fast as possible, and it's so real I can feel the cool wind in my hair, and see the trees rushing past me and I feel so free. Then I hear one shrill cry of a mockingjay and feel him hulking up on me, growing larger, and larger, he engulfs the forest, and swallows the skies with his darkness. Taking my perfect little world from me, turning my bright, vivid colours into black._

"huu" I gasp for air as I wake, feeling the hot sweat on the back of my neck, I turn to look in the mirror, and see that half of my face is all creased, and smudged with green, _shit_ it's going to take me forever to get this off my skin, I run straight to the washroom and run a sink of cool, soap water. I splash my face with the rejuvenating water, and try to rub the colour from my cheek, and that of course is when the intercom buzzes!

I ignore it, rubbing soap, and making progress. After about 10 minuets my cheek is red from the rubing, but at least it's not green, I dry my face on a hand towel and go to the annoyance "Yeah, I know third floor cinema be there in 10, k" I say slightly annoyed

"er, okay" she says quickly turning off the intercom. I run to my closet and grab the first thing I come in contact with… which happens to be a fitted black leather mini skirt, that fits tight to the end of my butt then flares out a bit to my mid thigh, and a fuzzy pink sweater, then grab some pink flip flops, and get on the elevator.

I feel myself rising slowly up _ping _I skip off the elevator and crash right into Jackson "Oh, sorry, sorry" I blather, he pulls me into him, gripping me like he's afraid he might lose me

"Angellica, oh my gosh I haven't seen you since…. WOW, you look amazing!" he says eyeing where the short hem of my skirt ends (he may be nice, but he's still a guy, right)

"oh, I know feels like forever I missed you so much but hey why don't you come with me?" I ask him

"well, uh where are you going?" he asks

I stop dead in my tracks "um, cinema to watch the games with jasmine" I say sadly

"ugh, my two least favorite things in life, but know what I'll come. For you" he smiles, and I feel the warmth radiating from him

"aw, how sweet are you" I tease pulling him behind me.

…

we try to slip into the back of the theater, but she sees us "hm, aren't you supposed to be working Jackson" she says venomously, she may like him, but she'll still be as threatening as necessary to get him away from me. "Or would you like me to let your father in on your little rendezvous" she says turning to me

"No, not necessary I was just leaving" he says out loud then whispers in my ear "see you tonight, k" before sweeping elegantly out the door.

"hello jasmine" I say smiling pleasantly

"oh save it, honestly, I know your just using him he deserves better than some slut like you" she seethes

"Excuse me! I am not!" I argue vehemently

"oh, but you are and what's worse is that you act all perfect, and innocent" she seethes

"I uh, but" I begin to argue, but she cuts me off

"know what, save it I don't care" she says as the screen lights up "oooh, third day, YES!" SHE runs to the front and I sit behind her.

the show begins we see the careers and uh..oh I know this D 12, peeta that's it, anyway they're sitting at the lake gingerly sharpening weapons and eating as though they had not a care in the world, we see tiny rue making a slingshot, and various tributes attempting to hunt for food they're starving and it's horrible, but then we see a clip of um, er katniss, I gotta remember that she's not doing well she's dehydrating fast, she's about to eat nightlock! I know it from the training center no katniss your thirsty but you know what that is and thankfully she has the strength to walk away, she searches for water she needs water and now, then we see peeta off in the woods with that district one girl, okay I know this one a jewel, uh glitter, OH Glimmer! Yes I remembered anyway they'relooking for firewood,well he's getting firewood she's sitting on a rock and making a failed attempt at flirting with peeta, like she has every other boy, this must be her strategy

"look glimmer I know what your doing, but I'm not interested" he says exasperated

"ugh I don't get what you see in that girl" she says

"exactly, you don't get it glimmer" he says walking back to the lake, they then show rue's district partner, thresh in a field far from the other tributes eating grain, we see katniss really struggling she can't even walk she looks up and struggles to say one simple "water" and I know her mentor has the resources course he's probably to drunk to be of any use! Ugh, I slump back in my chair and try to drown out the games, though it's hard with someone screaming about how there's not enough blood, and blah, blah, blah!

"Well see you tomorrow, course by then you'll be stringing the other one along" sneers jasmine leaving.

I run back to my room and thro myself crying onto my bed. I feel something crunch beneath me, and look down behind tear streaked eyes to see the rose I drew, it's smudged and destroyed, though I can still se some remnants of it's former beauty. It kind of reminds me of myself once beautiful, once perfect, and now destroyed, smudged and ugly, truly awful… though with a drawing you can always erase and re draw it, maybe I can to, maybe.

**okay pleeeeeease let me know what you thought, pretty pretty please with cookies on top (::) (::) (::) (::) (::)**


	17. Chapter 17: spanish

**soooo sorry, i wish i could tell you some brilliant reason why i was so slow, but honestly i started reading other fics and got caught up in them... plus i'm just a little lazy :P lol, but thanx for our patience, you guys are the best**

CHAPTER 17

I walk right back out the door, and decide that I'm sick of wallowing, and acting all depressed I mean honestly it's not like I'm one of those starving district 12 kids. I mean really I have some boy troubles, and hate my father… seems like a normal teenage life to me. Okay maybe not exactly normal I mean my father is the dictator- I mean president, and anyone who gets to close to me is doomed… NO! Stop wallowing be happy, be happy I chide.

I continue down the hallway, smiling. I decide I need to go talk to someone who is always happy, and always tolerant of the games, but is still a tolerable person. I walk into my father's office "hi, Dad I was thinking could I maybe go see ceaser?" I request, I figure he's my best bet, since he is related to the games.

"Oh, why?" he inquires

"I don't know I just want a new face, and I mean shouldn't I be learning about every aspect of the games" I say, and I know he can't deny me this seeing as this was his idea.

"Well, I suppose we could arrange something, alright fine I'll call a car" he sighs but let's me go.

I bounce down the staircase and push open the door, but it's hard, and when I get out there winds blow my hair all around my face, as the leaves gather in a cyclone around me. Wow, um I thought he said he'd call me a CAR! This is by far the largest, loudest, most powerful hovercraft I've ever seen, and the most security guards I've ever seen in my whole life, including, yes that's right Ben!

I run into his waiting arms, and it's like a scene from a movie, he picks me up and spins me in a circle, then just as he sets me down he cups my face in his hands and kisses me lightly. He pulls away and gives me that guilty grin, as a blush creeps into is cheeks

"uh, sorry I got a little carried away it's just-" he trail off

"don't worry I never got a chance to after the song" I say coyly turning my back to him as I saunter towards the hovercraft.

I stop to talk to Brendon who's standing at the door "hello Mr. Walker, so uh quite the craft to be just flying across town" I say casually, trying to get him to tell me what's going on

"Yes, well we were told that our passenger was very high profile, and it was of the utmost importance that the maximum security measures be taken" he says chuckling slightly

"Oh, well um so did you catch up with Ben?" I ask, just to fill the silence

"Oh, yes, yes I did thank you, well we want to get going Ms. Snow we wouldn't want to keep Mr. Flickerman waiting" he says reaching for the hovercraft door, but not before Ben can sweep in.

"Oh, dad let me get that" he says smiling at me as his dad smirks but leaves us alone. Ben swings open the door "milady" he says curtly

"oh, why thank you sir" I say with a curtsey, then start giggling as we board the craft.

I watch out the window as we lift from the sky, gracefully as a swan….. a very fat swan, but a swan never the less. I walk into the main room and sit on a lavish, white leather couch. I kick my flip flops off, and tuck my knees beneath me as I flip the TV on, but the only thing that has been "pre approved for this flight" is the 74th hunger games, ugh man I hate him.

Oh well only like 10 minuets left in the flight.

…

I can see the rainbow colored mansion from the air, the vibrant greens, pinks and yellows practically jump into the sky, his mansion is almost as big as our summer house! I guess hosting all of the interviews every year must pay well.

I walk up to the bright purple door and give two quick raps, middle-aged man with spiky green hair, pale green skin and a bright orange sparkly robe opens the door "May I help you" he asks

"Uh, yeah I'd like to see Mr. Flickerman" I say casually, he looks me up and down, as if deciding whether or not I'm worthy of entrance

"And who, may I ask are you" he says with an air of superiority.

"Oh, of course how rude of me I'm Angelica, a friend of his" I say smiling sweetly

"Well I'm sorry but we can't allow just anyone in to se-"

"Angelica my dear girl how have you been?" asks ceaser swooping down the stairs, and shooing away the man from the door

"Oh, wonderful and yourself?" I ask, genuinely happy for the first time since I got here

"Well come on in, I'll order us lunch and we can go talk" he says pushing a little red button, and leading me into the den, I sit on the lime green sofa, and he on a oale red loveseat facing me "So, how is that Jackson doing?" he asks slightly suggestively, but he's joking….. I think…. I HOPE!

"H- he's fine" I stutter feeling slightly uncomfortable

"Oh, relax I'm only kidding, your very easy" he says lightheartedly, this is what I love about ceaser, we can just joke around and have fun with nothing lurking over our heads, we don't have to talk about anything of real substance. "So, enough chat what did you really come here about?" he asks

"Oh, ceaser I just wanted to be in the pleasure of your company" I say smiling

"That, my darling Angelica is while very flattering, a lie" he says as a houseboy brings in our lunch, and sets it down in front of us

"Thank you" I say politely

"oh, Angelica, he doesn't speak English" he tells me then as an afterthought to the boy "gracias, por su servicio"

"What do you mean he doesn't speak english?" I ask

"I mean exactly that, you see my dear girl, he comes from a very rare race of people, those who are not from this side of the old world, but managed to immigrate over in time, you'd think over time they'd have learned our language but I guess not oh well I am one of the only people who can speak in their native toungue" he brags, though I can't help but think there's something he's not telling me…. Or maybe he just doesn't know either.

"Very impressive, what's the language called?" I ask

"spanish, or as they say español" he says with a tilt of his shoulders

"wow, that's so cool, think you could teach me a phrase?" I ask

"Of course, um hows about una manzana al día mantiene alejado al médico, that means, an apple a day keeps the doctor away" he says with a grin

"That's really cool, but I actually had one in mind" I say

"Sure, anything" he says

"okay, um actually two phrases" I ask sweetly

"yes, yes anything" he says leaning forward

"okay I want to lean, um okay don't judge me but "I hate you" and "go to hell" please"

"who ever would you want to say THAT to?" he inquires

_my father _I think but just say "Well, there's this girl who's all over Jackson and-"

"ah, say no more I understand, okay so it's um " Te odio" and oh, give me a minuet ah, right "ir al infierno" he says, and "oh, here's another one you might like as well "vete a la mierda" but only in extreme cases" he cautions

"What does it mean?" I ask, hoping for the worst, he leans in and whispers in my ear, I gasp "perfect"

"okay so Te odio-"

"YOU DO" gasps ceaser jokingly, I laugh "Oh, my Angelica it's past 8 O'clock! It was lovely having you here, but I'd hate to be the one to get the president's daughter home late" he says

"alright it was wonderful, and yes I believe I heard my hovercraft outside" I say walking down the hall

"Goodbye Angelica, I'll se you at the final 8 interviews, no?" he asks

"probably" I say

"Well, goodbye, then" he says

"Bye!" I shout running out the door.

…

when I get back I stop by my father's office quickly, since I'm supposed to check in. "I'm back" I say and then turn to leave

"oh, not so fast, how was your day with Ceaser?" he asks, like he really cares

"Just lovely" I respond

"well then you are dismissed" he says without a second thought

"Thank you, oh and Te Odio" I say sweetly, he thinks it's a compliment….. good

and so with that I turn on my heals and sashay out of his office. Leaving the evils behind me, hm maybe I should try yoga?\

**yaaaa, major filler, i was working through a writers block, and doing my spanish homework kinda impacted the story, but there's definitely more than meets the eye in this case...**

**REVIEW PLEEEEEEEEASE  
**


	18. Chapter 19: a broken heart

**okay so i know it's been forever, but i was playing hermia in a production of a midsummernight's dream and so rehearsals were crazy, and then the show, i'm sorry! truly... i hope this chapter makes up for it. and i would like to dedicate this chapter to **Peeta 4eva**... she has reviewed sooo much and ben so understanding and patient while i didn't update and not just this time (and she really fought for her man!) :P lol so ya! **

Chapter 19

"h-hii" I stutter, confused looking farther into the room and seeing that they were both in one room, why is that… they hate each other.

"what bring you to this neck of the woods" jokes Jackson

"oh, I just came to talk to- uh- you guys" I say, trying to cover my true reason for infiltrating their home.

"well, here we are so, what's up?" asks Ben casually crossing to sit in the chair next to Jackson, and they start play hitting each other while I try to pick my jaw up from the ground

"I was just- uh- um- er, I've come to- I've decided- i- I will talk to you guys later" I say lamely, backing out of the room

"ohhh-kay" drawls ben slowly "well, you know where to find us", but I'm not so sure I do, I mean I know where to find their physical incarnates, but was that really them, part of me says no, yet part of me knows it was, and they've moved on, noit from me, but from their feuding, and I should be happy, right, but I'm not, they don't care anymore, they don't care who I choose, or even if I choose…

BEN

"you know where to find us" I whisper as she back out of the door, still choking on her own words, oh why'd I have to be so stupid? It was obvious she'd come to a decision, why didn't I urge her to stay? End my suffering in one way, even if only to add even more, why didn't I fight to know? Why didn't I fight for her?

"Hey, what's wrong dude?" asks my new "friend" from behind me, he doesn't get it, doesn't get her, he doesn't deserve her, she's mine she should be mine, she always have been, then he just waltzes in here all tall, dark and handsom, and sweeps her off her feet, at times literally!

"She chose" I state emotionlessly

"What? How do you know? Did she say something?" he asks, oblivious

"she didn't have to, I just know when she's made up her mind, and trust me she has" I say quietly

"okay, , who'd she choose" he asks, if only slightly sarcastically!

"I-I don't know" I say simply

"well then you don't really know if she chose, do you" he asks incredulously

"trust me she cho-"

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!" he wails, sounding like a wounded seal

"dude why are you so upset, isn't this a good thing?" I ask confused

" Sure for you, but for me no, it's not because at least before I could dilute myself into thinking it was me, at least before I could have some part of her, but now, now I'm about to lose her forever" he sits on the bed, silently staring at the floor.

I'm not sure what to do I mean I don't want to…. Comfort him or anything but it would be mean to just be like "Ya probabally, good luck being alone the rest of your life" and just peace it out "Uh, well we don't know what she's thinking" I offer lamely.

"Ya, we do, listen thanks for trying to make me feel better, but we all know it's you" he says geeze if he's this depressed why doesn't he just…. I shake my head, no don't think that, don't think that I chide myself.

"well, only one way to find out" I say desperate for an escape

"Ya I guess" he says and we walk out the door, with me in front

ANGELICA

Gaaagh, I go in there to tell him, and they're together, really I mean how could I tell him while those other sweet, sweet puppy dog eyes watched, I just can't handle this, maybe I'm not cut out for this whole romance stuff, I mean I'm only 15 for lord's sake….. though I know that I love him, I know because everytime I hear his name my heart skips, and everytime he puts his arms around me I feel the magic only described in fairytales, and when he kissed me I felt like I was floating on air, and I never wanted to piull away, all I wanted was to be closer, and whenever he turns a corner to be in my view or I open the door to reveal him standing there…. For just that moment the entire world stops, and all my problems cease to exist….. and all I see is him and me forever and forever.

And when he answered the door today… I knew I had to talk to Jackson; I had to tell him the truth.

I curve down the hall with renewed purpose "okay angelica just do it quick lik ripping off a band aid" I say quietly, tough how can I just stomp on a heart like that "no you must, you have to for the sake of love, for the sake of freedom, for the sake of honesty, and let's admit it for the sake of The most horrid person in the world…. Me.

I crash right into him on my way to their room "oh sorry, sorry" I say feverantly before staring into his dark chocolate puppy dog eyes

"no, no problem at all… so you've made up your mind, hu" he says looking to the floor

"how did you-"

"Ben figured it out and I knew it must have been true… so do you wanna go talk" he asks solemnly… but why I mean he obviously couldn't know my choice

we walk into one of the dozens of green rooms, the one filled with white roses, my favorite flower… which Jackson knew perfectly well, he's so good at pulling on my heart strings.

…

after a solid 20 minuets of speaking with no air I think I've gotten my rational across to him "ya, I always kinda knew… I just hoped there might be some chance maybe, but I mean hey Ben was here first, right" he jokes through the pain in his voice

"no, it has nothing to do with that I honestly do love you and I think you're a great guy and you're going to make some girl very lucky one day it's just-"

"your not that girl, ya I get it I mean I wouldn't want you to keep denying yourself for my sake, and I know Ben will be off the walls" he says "The first day I met you I told myself not to fall in love with you, that I'd only get myself hurt… but I couldn't help it, I don't think anyone could your just so beautiful and such an amazing person, and I felt like I could talk to you-"

"you can" I insist

"Maybe after some time angelica, right now I don't think I could handle that, I'm sorry, and I will always love you" he says and I feel the soft brush of his lips on my cheek before I watch him walk away, turning back only to gently throw a single white rose directly into my lap.

I pick up the rose, sniff it delicately and start weeping, inconsolably.

**i had ya for a second admit it... you thought she's chosen jackson! mwahahah i am such a puck :P lol (sorry still in midsummer mode**) **anywho pleeeeeease tell me what you think oh pretty pretty please with a cyber cookie on top (::) (::)**

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	19. Chapter 20: true love

**i know, i know I'm sorry but in my defence my dance studio BURNT DOWN it was awful and hey if you live in regina you probably saw me on the news... you just didn't kno it :P lol ya so anyway here you go...**

Seconds pass, then minuets, hours, and I just remain there paralyzed, and crying everything around me blurs and I can no longer see even the white rose that's right in front of my face, and then I just black out

XXX

"Angelica, 'gellica" I feel someone gently shaking me, and I really hope it isn't Ben, I'm just not ready to face him with the truth yet, I mean what if he doesn't even want me anymore, I'm just a horrible heartbreaker, and I know I'll just hurt him if he does let me in. However I know I can't fight consciousness anymore, I slowly rip my uncooperative eyes open, and it takes just a moment for them to adjust.

It takes a moment for my brain to register the familiarity and differences in this place, because while I am in what is essentially "my" room I can't put a name to the girl in front of me "wa- what happened?" I ask unsurely

"oh, well you sort of fainted after talking to that cute boy" she giggles in her singsong voice

"Jackson?" I ask slowly, confused.

"Ya, that's his name" she giggles again

I look up and truly see her for the first time, she's pretty, like really pretty she has beautiful, thick caramel coloured hair, tied into low pigtail and hanging past her shoulders with a slight wave in it, piercing blue eyes, and a few cute freckles spill across her nose and cheeks. Why have I never noticed her before? "uh, wh- who are you?" I stutter

"Oh, of course how rude of me, I'm Aliah, I'm in training to be a doctor, but for now I mostly just do little jobs, like dealing with people who faint" she laughs a little, and I must admit I do to. "So, you should be fine, but just in case take one of these little blue pills and get some rest, okay" she says all business

"okay, sure" I say 'like that's gonna happen' I think

"I find that hard to believe, I mean you're a 15 year old girl with a boyfriend, something tells me your gonna be gone the second I close the door, am I wrong"

"I-I don't have a b-boyfriend" I stutter feeling a blush creep into my cheeks

"oh, so he's single" she asks casually _no he's not, he's mine you hear me random doctor chick you can't have him!_ I yell internally before mentally correcting myself_ but no, you rejected him, you chose ben…_

"Y-ya I guess he is" I admit reluctantly "why do you like him or something" I try to sound casual but there is a underline of jealousy to my question

"oh, well I- I uh he I jus-"

"so hows about we make a deal" I say mischievously

"Uh, what kind of deal" Aliah asks incredulously

"let me go to the roof to meet with Ben a-"

"no way, uhuh that is soooooo NOT happening!" she says quickly

"wait, just let me finish" I say cocking my eyebrows up "you let me go meet him, and I'll introduce you to Jackson" I say singing his name, making her turn her head, as her features twist into an expression of deep contemplation.

"Okay, fine" she all but spits, coming from someone else I'd have said she sounded bitchy, but somehow I don't think that's a characteristic she's capable of "I'll give you a half an hour" she says

"no way I need at least an hour" I bargain, I was not about to abandon this fight

"45 minuets" she says hopefully, fine I guess I'll take it

"fine" I grumble and head directly out the door, sending ben a message on the way. It takes me a while to find the roof since I'm not used to the dark grey depressing infirmary environment but when I do I bolt up the stairs hoping Ben is already there wanting to soak up every second of ben I can get, before the warden orders me back, but when I swing open the heavy door I find the roof empty, soullessly, heart breakingly empty.

I go to the end of the roof and watch the small streak of sunlight battle to be seen through the deep grey clouds being an artist I often find myself lost in the sky, it's just so beautiful, and so much in contrast of itself it can go from the bluest of blues to the greyest of grey's in one day.

Today it looks like the sky is promising us rain… not that we ever have to deal with that living in the capitol, they probably already covered the city in the large glass dome. We use it whenever rain, or snow, or even wind might come at us an- I hip around when I hear the door open, and there he is, standing just feet away from me.

We walk to each other, quickly closing that gap, and I can feel my body press ever so lightly into his "Angelica" he whispers in my ear

"Ben" I whisper back

then he teps back and holds me at an arms length "so does this mean-"

"Yes, it does" I say going up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek softly, he smiles his perfect smile, the smile that shows his soul, and everything I love about him we walk over to sit in the garden, and I proced to tell him everything, and I mean everything including Jackson and how awful I feel.

"But that's all behind us now, right? Now we can just be together" he says softly, lovingly.

"right" I confirm "but I really must go back, I wish I didn't have to bu-"

""but you made a promise, I understand, it's one of my favorite things about you" he says as I drag him to the door, we walk down together then right when we have to split courses I stop him "I love you" I say quietly

"as I love you, I always have and always will" he says with conviction, like a wedding vo, and then he puls me in for a deep, lingering kiss.

**let the romance insue... and as always REVIEW! please :)**


	20. I'm sorry!

A/N first off i just want to say that I'm so sorry about my slowness in updating, but i just feel so blocked it's like i used to really feel the character of angelica and it was like i knew exactly what she would feel, but now i just don't know i feel like the story isn't going anywhere, i mean I'm not going to abandon the story like some author's do that wouldn't be fair to you as readers! and i really do want to thank you all for your kind reviews, and for reading, and if anyone has any ideas they want to offer up, i promise to give full credit, so ya i just wanted to touch base and explain that i haven't forgotten and i'm not abandoning this story, but I'm just very confused at this time, so please bear with me :)


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